One way to get ones family angry is to announce that one is about to leave ones religion of birth. There is this expectation that a child automatically inherits the beliefs of the parent. There is a column for religion in an infants birth certificate and it is to be filled with the parent own religion. But the birth certificate did not ask for the parent birth certificate but the child’s. The opinion of the child was not sought . Yet whenever the child comes of age and decides to leave the religion of his birth, the parents get angry.
Some religion encourages her members to discriminate against and disown their children for attempting to leave the parent religion. Other religion ask parent to kill any child who abhors such thought . Of course every religion wants more members. One way to do this is to promise after death reward to entice non members to join. Another way is to make punnitive laws to prevent existing members including infants. from leaving th toe religion. Their goal is to have more members
Civilization has made it ok for a grown up child to choose a career path different from that of the parent but it is unacceptable to deviate from one religion of birth. The parents did not take into consideration the individual characteristics of the child. An extrovert is more likely to feel attracted to a religion that gives members freedom of self expression and varieties. To compel the individual to belong to a religion that promotes repeatation of ancient prayers could be boring. Similarly, To compel an optimistic child to actively partake in a religious gathering that constantly preaches sin, hell, rapture, crucifixion,co tondemnation , etc makes one guilty. A positive approach would have been better.
To force belief to children and compell them to hold on to them for life is an infringement . the child religious freedom was not taken into consideration. Each child ought to be exposed to various teaching at an early age . He should visit the church, the mosque ,the shrine and other religious and irreligious group and study with them. and be free to choose according to it’s feeling. Wherever he feels joyous,that is his path . The parent can only bless him. This will teach him see things from various perspective at an early age and will make him more tolerance of those from other religious group. In this way, we build a next generation devoid of religious based violence.
The job of a private lesson tutor introduced me to the concept of individual difference among children. There are kids that grasp a concept easily and there are those who require constant remindal. A good teacher does not fall to the trap as labelling one smart and the other dull. He would rather call the former a fast learner and the other a slow learner for slow and fast are function of time set by the teacher and the education board . To tag a pupil “dull” can damage his self esteem and discourage him from soaring high.
The education board gives teachers a curriculum and expect teachers to input the syllabus to pupil at the boards approved time frame. Great teachers understand that each child has his preferred learning style and the classroom learning style does not favor all. Private tutoring gives the teacher an opportunity to understand the pupil for whom he is and adapt his teaching style to pupil need. He is not fixated at one teaching style.
Children dread school. The few who love school do so to link up with friends. They dislike memorization style of learning taught in school. Each individual has his own potential. The classroom does not help fulfil all the potential. Tertiary education is not for all. It is necessary to read and write (at least to fill to the teller and sign your check). Pupil who would end up as athlete would benefit from soccer training than classroom education. To impose classroom education only without other extra curriculum supplement would make the child deviate from his true nature. Such child grow up directionless, discouraged and unfilled in their blue collar job. An unhappy CEO or a lawyer who dread court cases. Until he gets to fifty, he remembers his childhood dream of being a footballer. By then, his body is weak. The school did not help him uncover his potential.
Many teachers are in the academia for lack of a better job. The school did not help them discover their potential,, so they repeat the same mistake to students. It is important for teachers to ask themselves, What is my teaching mission? By drafting a philosophy, the teacher can manifest it in the way he teaches. A teacher whose mission is to rise to the top of the educational institution as a principal will teach differently from one whose motto is to transform the life of students.
My motto is to grow a generation that would question the status quo. To do that, I teach them critical thinking. I select subject that encourage thinking rather memorization. I once resigned from a school because I was assigned subjects that did not give me flexibility to think outside the box.
Likewise, I encourage my students to speak up. , I love listening to their opinion. Likewise, I introduce thought-provoking open-ended.question in the classroom and ask for their views. Furthermore, I quickly remind them that there are no wrong answers. Sometimes, I deviate from the school curriculum to do this. I ensure each child gives his opinion or how the issue relates to them. Every job requires thinking.
Realize that children encourage speaking up and wish teachers give them more opportunities to open up. Sometime, the children happily discuss this with their parents. The parents do not hide their disapproval especially if the topic has religious t it., the school authorities do not want to lose patronage, so they appeal I desist from that. I temporarily agree, only to repeat it again until someone gets tired or leaves.
Every Religion claims it’s teaching is the truth. Often times, teachings contradict. Truth cannot be A and be not A. One is definitely wrong. Truth is same every where. If any truth exist at all,it shout be that common saying which is found in all world Religion. Every mathematics textbook agrees that one + one is two.
To be certain that our belief is true, we ought to compare them with other scriptures and search for similarities and differences. The similarities draws us closer to the truth while the differences makes us question it’s authenticity. But we don’t want see the possibility that we might have been wrong. We try not to investigate . We call it faith.
Faith is the enemy of truth seeking. By hoping something is true or going to be true does not make it true.To believe in things that are not true can be dangerous.It is worse than gambling.We want our belief to be true so badly that we ignore evidence,reason and our common sence.
If your virgin daughter tells you she is pregnant, we will not believe her. If your teacher tells you be split the sun into three parts,we will call him a liar. We would spread the stories if we found them in an ancient scripture.
We believe In a book that somebody told us that somebody told the person that another person said is true without making attempt to verify its authenticity. This is second hand truth and second hand truth is called hearsay . Lawyers are aware that second hand truth is subjected to mistake so they do not admit it in the court of law . Truth should be based on experience.Eye withness testimony Is admissible in the court of law.
I heard a group tried to test the effectiveness of prayer. They had a group of sick patient prayed for and another group to act as control. The former recovered quicker. This is an example of ones belief tested. You may replicate it if you like. By checking your claim, you become more confident of it’s authenticity.
The above title may seem harsh but there are people who truely believe one is a lunatic simply for refusing to believe in a god. Few years back, Mr and Mrs Bala sent their adult son for coming out an atheist.The doctors diagnosed him of suffering from a personality disorder- Perhaps an atheist personality disorder. Today,that atheist is nowhere to be found Since belief is perceived as normal, non believers are abnormal.
Is it abnormal for a sick person to go to the hospitality rather than a Religious house ? Is it abnormal to choose reality over ancient scripture? Is it abnormal to make decisions based on reasoning and use of senses over faith? Is it abnormal to choose not to believe in ghost, spirit and alien ? Is it abnormal to visit the hospital rather than prayer house when sick Is it abnormal to suggest for the saperation of Religion from politics? If your answer to these questions are yes, then you must be abnormal
About a hundred years ago, it was a criminal offense to engage in homosexuality in Western countries . Today, you could be imprisoned for discriminating against homosexual .An abnormal homosexual yesterday is a celebrated fellow today. A moral homophobic person yesterday could go be cinvicted today. What was abnormal then is normal today. Normalcy depends on the ability to convince group of persons to believe an act in a particular way. It is normal to call an elder by his first name in Western country. It is abnormal to prostrate every morning to greet elders.
Individual who become atheist are attracted to reflective thinking . They question the status quo.They choose career in law, philosophy, and academia .
Atheist rate high on loneliness. The feeling of being a minority detaches them from the rest.The relationship with friends and family is stained . Atheist also exhibit anti social tendency as they have less social supply..The depression could be as a result of the stigma and prejudice they face compared to the religious folk.This depression could lead to suicide tendency. They would rather say their mind on issues rather than sugercoat them . While others conform to the society, atheist stand out. They are authentic and individualistic. This makes them loners.
The average person waits for the society to determine what is acceptable. Atheist and other critical thinkers examine issues independently before Arriving at his own conclusions. He refused to hand over his cognitive ability to someone else.
Atheist are nonconformist. The only issue atheist agree to is the absence of a God. Atheist disagree in everything else and they are fine with it. They derive Joy in arguing about their disagreement without a rise In temper unlike the theist.
Atheist understand that human need differ. Some love tea,others love coffee. Neither is more right than the other.As long as one takes his tea without interference on the other person freedom to take coffee. Atheist understand that it is impossible to get the whole world to conform to a set of belief including the non-belief in God. Many Atheist will never practice Homosexuality yet do not see the need to interfere in the personal life in others. True freedom entails being oneself without worrying about what other people think and not having to approve or disapprove anyone for their behavior as long as they do not interfere in the right of others.
Most theist feel insecure whenever others do not worship his own God. He feels the need to justify his position. He begins to be critical of the other person belief. He first threatens them with everlasting punishment and offers them salvation. This is a tactic to win them over. When we feel weak, we gather more people to our side.
There are few atheist who are fed up with the way the society discriminate against them that they have chosen to evangelise the gospel of non-belief. These Atheist are online doing what they Religious folks do on the street. They are trying to make the believers dance to their music.
We believe lunatic are dangerous to the society as they could be violent and cause death of many and hence ought to be confined to a home far away from society. Are atheist more violent than theist? are more prone to group thinking . It is easier to get them to assemble to achieve a common goal. With atheist, individual thinking is key.Apart from a mutual non belief in God, It is difficult to get atheist to agree on any issue. We have atheist who believe in evolution and those who do not. We have Buddhist atheist, Christian atheist, mystical atheist etc
It was difficult to convince an atheist protest against the illegal detention of her members .Nigerian atheist were busy arguing why the protest should hold and why it should not. Argument prevailed over action . When a Catholic priest was abducted, It took the Catholic Bishop to announce a peaceful protest and many complied. The members do not need to think about the decision. In the same manner, It is easier for a religious leaders stand on the pulpit and instigate violence. The people will easily comply. The Federal Government decision to detain Shite leader led to a series of violent protest from it’s members. The members did not think about their life . Religion teaches submission to authority without thinking. Atheism encourage self critical thinking and conviction before acting.Atheist are able to jungly various perspective and note their similarities. They rate high in moral reasoning and reject blind obedience to authority.
Pilate is an example of a conformist. He could not find Jesus guilty yet he bowed to society pressure and sentenced him to death. He acted contrary to his conscience. Jesus is a non conformist. He acted based on his conscience. His teaching deviated from the status quo . Christianity today is moving the path of Pontus Pilate while Atheist are unknowingly drifting towards some Christ teaching
A boss lashes at the subordinate for a minor mistake. The subordinate does not react . He might loose his job. He goes home still habouring the ill-treatment. His wife serves him a plate of food. He complains the food is salty. She reminds him it is the same food he claimed to enjoy the previous day. He yells at her. Suddenly there is a knock on the door. It is the pastor. He opens the door still stuck with anger . The tone of his voice changes and he becomes polite and friendly. When the pastor leaves, he reverts back to yelling at his wife.
Like Femi, the way we react to anger differ. In anger, we can yell at our subordinate because we are sure to get away with it. Anger is a feeling like hunger. We do not eat a stone out of hunger. There is a period to think of the consequences of our action.
Anger is a tool that can be used achieve an objective. We can tune it on and off at our disposal. We only need a little trigger from an external person. At times, we shout to get the other person to submit to us. Individuals who seek power to control others switch on their anger tap at will. Fearful, conflict avoidant individual comply to their directive easily. Both parties should learn to use effective communication tools .
Convincing atheist to protest against the abduction of Mubarak Bala was difficult .Nigerian atheist were busy arguing why the protest should hold and why it should not. At the end, nothing was done, the energy has been exhausted in debating .
When a Catholic priest was abducted, It took the Catholic Bishop to announce a peaceful protest and many complied. The members do not need to think about the decision. In the same manner, It is easier for a religious leaders stand on the pulpit and instigate violence. The people will easily comply.
The Federal Government decision to detain Shite leader led to a series of violent protest from it’s members. The members did not think about their life . Religion teaches submission to authority without thinking.
Atheism encourage self critical thinking and conviction before acting.Atheist are able to jungly various perspective and note their similarities. They rate high in moral reasoning and reject blind obedience to authority
The year 2020 withnessed a dramatic change in the world of engagement. Ladies are no longer waiting for guys to propose to them. The unwritten law that a guy must be the one to ask her hand in marriage is gradually getting obsolete. They have learnt the patient dog eats the thinnest bone or no bone at all. A lady who waits to be proposed to is chosen. The lady who proposes chooses. Our conservative ladies are coming out en masse to profess their desire to get married to the guy of their choice . This is one progressive change the nation has experienced since she was promised change by the APC led administration since 2015.
The new development has brought a different insight to the question
” What do women want?”
By watching ladies make their choice. We can attempt to answer the question. Out of about ten ladies I personally know of who proposed to their partner, nine of them had partners who are Non-Alpha. While I admit that ten is too small a number to be used in any study, it is a starting point. I have observed a shift in the taste of a lady. Ladies no longer crave for Alpha guys as most literature suggest. When asked to choose a potential life partner, they tend to shy away from the powerful, dominant, muscular physique guy. Could there be any reason for this?
I will illustrate with this story.
Sarah grew up in a society that trains women to be Simps. She should never look a man in the eye and must bow down after every conversation with him as a sign of respect. A young girl is a property owned by her husband. She could be summoned to entertain his guest however he deems fit. He can transfer his ownership to the highest bidder. He decides what she wears. . No one considered her opinion. . She is to be obeyed instructions given by the husband or father whether she agrees with them or not. She does all the housework and assist in the farm. A woman should never ask her husband to help her in the kitchen. . She is not good enough to be the leader of the clan. In essence, the society groomed beta women. These women do not take any decision. These women relied on their man to take the decision. She is a good girl only when she suppresses her feelings and submits to the traditional gender roles. Marriage is the reward for obedience. She learns to love guys that give commands. Such shy and submissive women admire Men who have proven to be confident and good decision takers. Stupid girls love Alpha guys.
The introduction of education into the society changed everything. Schools treat boys and girls as equal. Schools select the prefect based on academic performance. There were no gender based prejudice. Male and female clear the grass. Guys and girls sweep the floor. She speaks during assembly. She looks at guys in the eyes and talk. She completes her tertiary institution and gets employed. She graduates from a Simp to a beta woman. Experience has taught her that hardwork leads to promotion ., she gets promoted to a managerial position. She delegates some of the task to junior workers. Her duties involves cooperating with other head of departments to achieve a certain goal. She is sent to represent the organization in multimillion naira deals. She learns to be assertive, aggressive, dominant. She graduates to an alpha female.
Professional achievement did not correlate with relationship success. Many men avoided her like a plague. Only the confident once are bold enough to approach her. The relationship hit it up at first but soon she noticed hitches. She loves to be the center of attention. He desires the same. He speaks more and listens less. She wants someone to listen to her. She is used to giving instruction and not one to obey blindly like the simp girls do. He wants to be the boss , to have the power, to make the decision . Both are involved in power struggle. Her previous four relationship ended for similar reasons. She got to undergo total transformation to make her relationship work.
It is her birthday and her boyfriend did not call her. She is pissed off and goes to his office unannounced to yell at him. She meets him in a passionate kiss with his secretary. She tries not to cry.
She is in pain and looks for a shoulder to lean on. She remembers her beta friend. She hurries to her plays and breaks down in tears immediately he opened the door. With him, she is not ashamed to break down and shed tears when necessary He comforts her and listens patiently as she pours her heart. She didn’t know when she dozed off. She woke up and found herself in his bedroom. It is midnight, late to drive back home This is not the first time she would pass the night in his apartment. On each occasion, he would lie on the couch. He never touched her. She felt safe around him. Her exes would have attempted to sleep with her despite her mood. Maybe he did not find her sexually appealing she thought. She went to the couch and found him working on his laptop. There was her pics as his wallpaper. She inquired why and he opened up his feelings towards her. He had wanted to ask her out for a long time, but he was afraid she might not only reject him, but she might end the entire friendship since he was not in the same class as he was. The latter was a risk too big to take. He brought out a letter he had written to her expressing his intention to the next level. He lacked the courage to do so. This was before she met her last ex. She was speechless. That day marked the beginning of sexual friendship.
Sm What he lacked in aggression, he made up with attentiveness. He spends a high amount of time touching her slowly in an attempt to build the urge in her until she could not resist. Her previous Alpha exes who assumed they know what she needed in bed. Her beta friend was humble enough to ask her what her sexual cravings were. He understood that each girl is unique and has various need. He cuddles her after releasing, and they discussed how it went before they both clean up. . She does not feel used.
He knows all her sexual fantasies and deepest secret. He had been there for during her last five heart breaks. He had never forgotten her birthday. He knows her more than he knows herself. She has poured all her heart to him. He had never hit her . She could be Moody and provocative attimes, yet he never disrespected her. He sees her as an equal. He is a democratic husband. Alpha husband’s give out orders like a soldier. He would make an ideal father ;one the kids could trust and not one to be feared.
They have been involved in this sexual friendship for over two years now. She has learned from experience that Alpha Male is not suitable for her. With a beta male, she does not have to pretend to be who she is not in other to fit into the traditional wife role. He let her be herself .She considers marrying her best friend. But that could come at a cost. His laid back approach makes it difficult for him to get ahead in his professional life. She knew she would be the one handling the major part of thebill if she were to maintain her status. It would be wise to bend low to his status. A little price she is willing to pay. She had to close the deal now or risk loosing him out forever to another client.
She got the wedding ring and asked for his hands in marriage. They are happily married.
We can infer that Alpha women date their fellow Alphas but end up settling down with a non-Alpha. Alpha guys propose to beta women. Alpha women propose to beta guys. She has learnt to discard the traditional notion that women marry higher up. Such union is ticking time bomb waiting to explode . The competition for power and dominance is second to none . The world is changing in gender roles and Alpha male are yet to realise that. Men must not be the bread winner. Men must not confront situation outrightly. Certain problems require careful thoughtful dialogue.
Alpha male are also loosing it in other aspect of life. In Soccer, Jose Mourinho, an alpha manager is highly sought by so many clubs. His tenure in each club lasts a maximum of four years. He quarells with his players, fellow coaches, referee, football association, Physiologist, Ball Boy etc. The cost of maintenance is greater than the goal . Arsene wengar, A specialist in failure stayed over ten years in the club. Today, the beta coach works for FIFA. For immediate success, sign an alpha coach. For sustainability and long term project,sign s beta coach. .The highly successful persons are those who have mastered the art of building network. That involves cooperation and ability to compromise – an act beta male are understand quite well. Alpha leaders tend to be autocratic and conservative imposing his will on the majority. Beta politicians drift towards democrats. He is willing to let other person’s view override his own . Alpha male may need to be more emotional sensitive. Beta male coul do better to improve their confidence and self confidence. Sleepy Joe defeated Alpha Trump in the last United State election. The top three richest men in the world do not qualities of a tough man. Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook is definitely not a macho Man. Bill gate is an introvert. The society is shifting towards computer and beta guys who enjoy working from home recorded huge profit during the covid 19 lock down.The law of diminishing returns is taking hold of Alpha male.
The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school in to marry her should examine his conscience. A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her. The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover. His generosity no longer counts as an act of kindness. He is only using her to satisfy his desire to own(marry) an educated person. He desires to improve his perceived status among his uneducated peers for marrying one of a higher status. He is no different from the rich man who gives while making a public show of it. The lady on the other hand desires a man to help her achieve her goal to be educated. She had to pretend to be love him to achieve her goal. There was no love. Each person only desired to use the other. The lady only outsmarted him in the selfish web. Some readers said he would have married her first before spending a dime on her. . It changes nothing. It does not guarantee a happy union. Who says she will not catch feelings for another person ? Who says she will not seek divorce later? It only transforms the problem. We need to examine our perception of love.
Marriage is born of selfish love. We so often fall into the trap that the other person belongs to us. This simply can never be true. We love based on how useful the other person is to us. Husbands use their wives. Wives use their husband. The Hausa phrase I naso ki” is translated as I love you or I want you. If we love someone, we must desire to have such a person. If I see a flower, I must pluck the flower or I purchase the land. If I love a girl, I must own the girl by marriage. Bride price is a sign of ownership. This notion of love is distorted.
He has to prevent her from catching feelings for another man. Rather than giving love space and room to breathe, he clings to it, desperate to make the feeling stay. He has to continue providing all her needs, satisfying her in bed and protect her from harm, so she doesn’t think of someone else. Jesus said sexual thought is adultery. He doesn’t want this to happen. He lives in constant fear of loosing her. This, of course, is counterproductive. Love requires trust,. To love someone is to allow them to be their Authentic self. He suffocates her with his love. She desires to be free from him.
The concept of monogamous marriage is a prison we create. It is ok to be in a monogamous relationship. It is alright to prioritize one relationship over a period of time but to remain in one forever is a disaster. Ancient man know it is impossible to stick to one partner forever. He misses his young moment of wooing various girls. The challenge of winning her love thrills him. To avoid this, Early man permitted polygamy. But he did not allow the girl to enjoy the same freedom. Rather, he taught her to cover all her flesh whenever she went out so other men do not admire his goods. She should not display an iota of Skin to the preying eyes of men. If she disobeys, she is called a slut. Her beauty is no longer hers. Her husband owns her. He explores his sexuality while denying her hers. Her body desires another even if it is for a moment. She needs someone else to spice up her routine sex life. She desires a new style, a new person. She engages in a one-night stand. Cheating arises from the body desire to escape from the societal cage. She is accused of being unfaithful to her husband. She alone knows how much she still loves her husband. Her heart is capable of loving more than one.
God is Love, and we are created in the image of love. The human soul is capable of loving so many but incapable of owning them all. True love is selfless. False love is selfish.
John 3: 16 tells us that God loved the world that he gave…….
God proved his love for humanity by sacrificing for the benefit of humanity. True love is in giving a part of oneself for the benefit of that which he loves. False love seeks to own the object of love. False love uses the object of love to satisfy his own need.
Marriage of today is based on false love. Women use men to satisfy her desire for a child, financial security etc. Men use women to satisfy his sexual urge and render domestic service. We ban prostitution. Marriage is legalized prostitution. Sex is traded for bride-price. The difference is the duration and sincerity. Prostitute has no feeling for you and you know it. In marriage, you both think you are in love when you love with the benefit the relationship brings. Take away those benefits and fight increases.
When one truly loves a flower, he does not pluck the flower from its stem. He does not transplant it to his own backyard. The soil condition may be different.The plant may die. Rather, he goes out of his way to water the plants and apply fertilizer. He derives joy by watching its beauty. He desires to improve its beauty. He is not threatened if others admires the flower. He has no interest of purchasing the flower.
When we genuinely love a person, we do not think of how to take advantage of the person for our own benefit. We do not intend to possess the person. Rather we think of how we can improve the other person’s life without depleting ourselves. . We give our partner freedom to be Authentic.
One can love another without desire to be in a relationship with such a person. One can give to another without any intention of getting married to such a person. Relationship is a desire to grow together with the person. When the other person desire to grow in a different direction, one can only admire from a distance or support the person in whatever form one chooses.
To truly love means to allow your partner the freedom to be. To release the fear that they will stop choosing you and move on to another, to relinquish control and simply focus on being the absolute BEST version of you.
Man came into this world surrounded with mysteries. He searched for someone to answer his questions. He found no physical person competent enough to satisfy his Inquisition, he looked at nature . the idea of God( s) was attributed as the only all knowledgeable one. Who is this god?
first, he thought they were various god for different purpose. ” may be God is a rock” so they began to worship rock. others taught he was trees and they began worshipping trees.Others calved Idols
Then one man thought. A god should be powerful, stronger than man and not these Idols man can break with the hands and matchet.Then he looked up and realised human could never touch the sky. ” That must be God”/ he thought. He told others his new idea.some rebuked him,others mocked him but few accepted his idea. As decades passed, the few who believed multiplied. The new concept of God became popular. Higher Evolved man began to place human government quality on this god.The early men obeyed law and order and began to see god as a big white beard man with a cane waiting to punish whoever disobeyed his law. God became a moral policeman, judge or king whose anger is second to none.
This was the common religion until one man named Jesus whose reasoning was higher than that of the people camebup with a better idea. He saw loopholes in the existing belief.To him, God is like a father and not a policeman.His idea was a religion of love and not one of fear.After centuries of rejection, and persecution ,the average man finally accepted his teaching.Others out of loyalty to their for fathers chose to stick to existing teaching.
The concept of a loving God who would burn his children in hell for disobedience seems not to go well with many morally sensitive persons.This has led to a group called DEIST who believe God is like a soccer coach who does not intervene with the natural laws of the game of life. As man keeps evolving, new ideas are formed. Many new religion of today see god as a form of energy who does not exist outside the world but is part of creation.God is in you and me. It seems new religion are more tolerant of non conformist. This begs the question, which religion is the most authentic? None, Ensure you are well informed about as many as you can and then choose the one that alligns with your own level of evolution. Be open to discussing your religion with others.It is absolutely normal to change your mind.change is a sign of growtn. It is normal to discard a previous belief that has lost its usefulness for a new one. One may choose to be irreligious, a passive observer who derives words of wisdom from all sacred text to construct his own belief system. THE CHOICE IS YOURS
I grew up like most of you out there subjected to three major kind of education. The first is family education, second is academic education and the third is called religious education.
Family education focused on duty. I learnt to be obedient to authority- my parents,elders, etc. I heard to do whatever they asked me to do whether I felt like or not under the assumption that they meant well for me.Failure to comply resulted to punnishnent. I learnt my first lesson- suppress your feeling and comply to avoid punnishnent.
The Religious education focused on submission. We are to submit to the instructions as written in the holy books. I must pray at a particular time and place whether I like it or not. If I fail to comply, I would be sentenced to eternal punnishnent. I learnt my second lesson. Suppress my feelings and submit to what the gods say or risk going to hell
The third education is societal education.We had to obey the written and unwritten laws of the land or risk getting jailed. No one cares if you enjoy paying taxes. I learnt my third lesson : suppress your feelings and conform to societal expectation.
All these education taught me to focus on ideas outside of myself. My parents, religion and society had little or no concern for my feeling . Pleasure and humor are to be swept underground.I am not to search for my own happiness even when my happiness does not interfere with that of others. I feel guilty for pursuing my dream. It means I am deviating from the dreams of the religious group,parents or society. It means I am a selfish fellow. I am a rebel for not living a duty oriented life.
Selfishness is synonymous with evil. A selfish person is one who is concerned with his own need. when did that becomes a terrible thing . we are encouraged to sacrifice our desire . Is self sacrifice really a virtue? Teaching of self sacrifice encourage one to value others more than oneself. It may lead to low self-esteem.Self sacrifice teaching has prevented many of us from achieving our dream.