Let’s do a little hypothetical today: 7pm Tuesday August of pandemic time. New York City. Five people are waiting for a bus. Bus arrives. Person A decides not to pay the fare. Person B says something to them about needing to pay the fare. Person A uses an object to attack Person B with. Person […]What If
Well really, you shouldn’t say/do these things to anyone, but these are based on things that people have said/done to me in my life. Some of these can also be applied to anyone who exists in a marginalized body. This is a list of things that have been said to me. If you find yourself […]10 Things I wish people would stop saying/doing to fat people
Learn about what the four waves of feminism are, as well as the significance of each wave.What Are…the Four Waves of Feminism?
We haven’t yet found a news item to blog about today, but until we do we can’t resist asking you a supremely important question. It comes from scripture — the only source of reliable information. Our quotes are all from the King James version, of course, and we added a bit of bold font for […]Let’s Make Nudity Legal!
Social media never runs out of opportunities to experience creativity, scandals, and thought-provoking conversations. I feel the recent Akuapem Poloo case in Ghana showcases all three. In this video, I recap on developments from the case and discuss how Ghana handles freedom of speech, nudity, and social media etiquette. The Akuapem Poloo case is about […]How Ghana Handles Speech + Nudity With The Akuapem Poloo Case
Many men intentionally under-perform for fear of incurring the envy of others. Some reject a high position because of the thought of being the object of so much envy in the department. At the end, he suffers, the colleague suffers, the organization suffer from mediocrity. The more an organization is able to act as though there is no envy, the greater will be the rate of employee growth and organizational performance. Envy is responsible for the slow rate of development because it resists innovation.
The. Key is to deflate praises for one’s achievement. The primary rule is never boast or brag. Our ancestors made rules to reduce envy. For instance, in some societies, a fisherman who catches two fish while his colleagues catches none gives them out. If he does not go empty-handed, he risks slanderous talks from the rest. In India, a hunter does not eat the animals he kills. Our forefathers tried to be fair in dealings . Ones input does not determine ones output. Those who worked hard received less or equal pay. This socialism lifestyle led to laziness. Today, the world practices capitalism. .
But there is a kind of envy that is rarely discussed. It is called generational envy. This is envy the older generation possess over the younger generation, who occupy a higher position at a relatively young age.
As two individuals begin to compare each other, a judgement is made. In one rare occasion are they equal. One is usually higher than the other. The higher one is may tend to become proud while the lower one tends to become envious
. Positive envy attempt to emulate the envious. It plants a competitive spirit, a desire to better oneself. Negative envy is far dangerous. The envious is interested in the object of desire that he wishes the other gets robbed, dispossessed or hurt. This kind of envy is destructive. Such a man is prepared to injure himself if doing so could hurt or injure the one he envies. Giving a gift to such person to dissolve the envy is likely to backfire. It is a reminder of one’s superiority and is likely to fuel envy.
One way to disperse such envy is to attribute it to luck and not personal brilliance and remind such persons of a recent disappointment, disadvantage, or mischance. Or better still, remind the envious person of areas of success in his life which is deficient in yours, This helps remind him of his superiority towards you in other aspect. By elevating him, you remove his eyes temporary from his object of desire.
Study shows that soccer fans experience greater level of positive emotion when the team is on a winning streak. Similarly, sport fans suffer physical and psychological consequences when their team looses. For example, research shows an increase in reckless driving which could lead to road accident, poor eating choice and frequent drinking too heart attack, and domestic violence. One particular research shows that domestic violence increases in an area where the local team loses a game.
Sport fans face this dilemma of staying loyal to a club. No one wants to be associated with a friend who stands by you when things are Rosy and leaves a sinking ship. Such friends are termed disloyal, snitch etc.. Some rules make sense on a general level, but not on a specific level. What applies to friendship does not apply here.
Loyalty to one club does not automatically mean a negative attitude towards other team and their fans. It does not mean we should not acknowledge our club shortcomings, either. There are fans who are ready to tell lies to defend their team. They will go to any length to deny allegation even on non-soccer related issue such as assault, tax evasion and rape allegation as if they eye witness to the incident. They can lose their identity and life over a club in the name of club loyalty.
Some of us have spent a considerable number of years supporting a club. The club has formed part of our identity. To leave the club means killing ourselves. It means admitting that we failed in our choice of club afteeall. No one likes to be associated with failure. It has little to do with loyalty
Guess what! Your club is not your friend. It is not a human being to begin with. It is like every other organization whose focus is to maximize profit. Today, loyalty is no longer taken into consideration when hiring or firing players. Once a club legend’s performance has dropped below par, the management decides not to renew his contract. Club managers have learned to prioritize individual players present performance over years of service. If clubs could treat their players this way, how much more would they treat their fans. Players switch clubs when a bigger club comes calling. The same is applicable to coaches. Clubs fire players and coaches at will. We do not show loyalty to a Friend who does not show us loyalty.
We saw the last attempt by club owners to participate in the European super league. The decision was taken via a close door meeting among club owners. Neither the fans nor the players representative were put into consideration. This gives us a clue of how selfish the game has been lately. Fans do not have a say which player leaves or who stays. Your friends seek your advice before taking a critical decision. The club did not seek your consent before agreeing to such proposal. The club owners are not your friend. They don’t know of your existence. The exit of one individual fan will not be noticed.
Just as club managers take decision based on what it considered its best interest. You got to take decision based on what you consider your own best interest. Asking me to support a club that is on a losing streak is like telling an investor to keep investing on a dwindling venture that is showing no plans of recovery.
Arsenal fans ought to understand that the values which the team is built upon is eroding. Commercialization of the Game is killing the game. Dirty trick are being employed to manipulate match outcome. Betting firms are highly involved in underground match fixing in European games. Even FIFA admitted that international friendly matches before the 2010 world cup were fixed. Why would I extend morals to a system that does not value morals.
Health is wealth. Could leave a loosing club and gamble on a team with more chances of winning, We can apply the same tactics in guarding against our mental health. Would we Rather lose our money or our psychological wellbeing? Your health should matter to you and if your friends, your club, your job worse your health, you have a duty to ditch them and protect your health. Kill your team before your team kills you.
When a club looses, fans suffer .some pour out their anger on the innocent wife. Guess what! The players get their weekly pay irrespective of result. The club generate more income in gate fee. Broadcasting station get more views and subscribers and ultimately more money. Every one goes home with something. Only the FANS go home worse. Only fans suffer unnecessarily in the name of loyalty.
The group I respect the most are those who watch the game just got entertainment purposes. Whenever any team scores, they jubiliate. Loyalty does not mean so will not acknowledge a great goal scored against my team. I remember celebrating Rashford long range free kick against Chelsea. My fellow Chelsea players immediately called me a betrayal. It makes me wonder if a goal is more spectacular when scored by a player we admire.
The first question to ask ourselves is Why do we support this team in the first place? Go back to the first time we began supporting the team or further down to what makes us enjoy the game of soccer, Most of us grow up supporting the club because our immediate family and friends supported that club, so we were accustomed to watching the club match more regularly. In that cases, Familiarity led us to the club. Others grew up to support a team that contains a player they admire or one that plays for the national team. . A little group supported a club because of the game play like Tiki-taka or counter attacking. There are other reasons for watching the game.
We grew up because we derived joy from doing so. If our current club does not give us the same hit, we sign for a club that does. If you grew up supporting Arsenal FC because it once had lots of African players like Eboue who were winning games like, Kanu Nwankwo and Kolo Toure, you may look for another club that contains African like liver pool. One who grew up supporting Barcelona because of their beautiful style of play is free to support Manchester City for a similar style of play. The point is to be loyal to that which you value in the game, and find it in other teams. Stick to team(s) which exemplify the values you hold darely in the game.
I went home happier when Chelsea lost the F. A cup. The Joy in the faces of my Nigerian Stars — Kelechi Iheanacho and Wilfred Ndidi overrode the disappointment of losing the trophy. A friend of mine supports Manchester United in England, Real Madrid in Spain and Juventus FC in Italy. Christiano Ronaldo inspired his decision. When Juventus started playing poorly this season, he simply reduced the number of times he watched the old ladies and spent more time watching Manchester United matches. He did not give one club the power to determine his overall happiness. It is not a sin to support another team in matches that your team is not playing. One of the best ways to cope is to have multiple favorite club in each league
The job of a private lesson tutor introduced me to the concept of individual difference among children. There are kids that grasp a concept easily and there are those who require constant remindal. A good teacher does not fall to the trap as labelling one smart and the other dull. He would rather call the former a fast learner and the other a slow learner for slow and fast are function of time set by the teacher and the education board . To tag a pupil “dull” can damage his self esteem and discourage him from soaring high.
The education board gives teachers a curriculum and expect teachers to input the syllabus to pupil at the boards approved time frame. Great teachers understand that each child has his preferred learning style and the classroom learning style does not favor all. Private tutoring gives the teacher an opportunity to understand the pupil for whom he is and adapt his teaching style to pupil need. He is not fixated at one teaching style.
Children dread school. The few who love school do so to link up with friends. They dislike memorization style of learning taught in school. Each individual has his own potential. The classroom does not help fulfil all the potential. Tertiary education is not for all. It is necessary to read and write (at least to fill to the teller and sign your check). Pupil who would end up as athlete would benefit from soccer training than classroom education. To impose classroom education only without other extra curriculum supplement would make the child deviate from his true nature. Such child grow up directionless, discouraged and unfilled in their blue collar job. An unhappy CEO or a lawyer who dread court cases. Until he gets to fifty, he remembers his childhood dream of being a footballer. By then, his body is weak. The school did not help him uncover his potential.
Many teachers are in the academia for lack of a better job. The school did not help them discover their potential,, so they repeat the same mistake to students. It is important for teachers to ask themselves, What is my teaching mission? By drafting a philosophy, the teacher can manifest it in the way he teaches. A teacher whose mission is to rise to the top of the educational institution as a principal will teach differently from one whose motto is to transform the life of students.
My motto is to grow a generation that would question the status quo. To do that, I teach them critical thinking. I select subject that encourage thinking rather memorization. I once resigned from a school because I was assigned subjects that did not give me flexibility to think outside the box.
Likewise, I encourage my students to speak up. , I love listening to their opinion. Likewise, I introduce thought-provoking open-ended.question in the classroom and ask for their views. Furthermore, I quickly remind them that there are no wrong answers. Sometimes, I deviate from the school curriculum to do this. I ensure each child gives his opinion or how the issue relates to them. Every job requires thinking.
Realize that children encourage speaking up and wish teachers give them more opportunities to open up. Sometime, the children happily discuss this with their parents. The parents do not hide their disapproval especially if the topic has religious t it., the school authorities do not want to lose patronage, so they appeal I desist from that. I temporarily agree, only to repeat it again until someone gets tired or leaves.
The making of a Narcissist Pastor
Religion is like a double-edged knife. It can be used for Good and for bad, To build and to destroy. A knowledgeable person can quote a scriptural passage to justify any act he wishes. No wonder religion accommodates every individual regardless of character.
However, certain religion tends to promote individualism while other religion promotes collectivism. Empaths and kind-hearted individual are more likely to enjoy a gathering that promotes suppression of Individual needs for the sake of the majority. Such teaching are alien to narcissistic persons. Moreover, religion teaches application of rule to everyone. The golden rule and other virtues of fairness are promoted. Narcissistic belief they are center of attention and deserve special and higher favors and not to be treated equally with those he is better than. But he also wants to be liked by the society. So he pretends to agree with the religious teaching while revealing his real self to his immediate family members.
Traditional religion has little to offer the grandiose narcissistic. Churches that teaches that one is a sinner that would be punished in hell bruises the ego of the narcissistic. He deserves to be exempted from such punishment for no reason.His sins should be ignored and forgiven while he continues to commit them.Sermons that condemn the pride and praises the humble are not what he seeks to traditional churches like Catholic Church, Jehovah witness, Anglican etc. teaches members to sacrifice personal goal, ambition, dreams for the sake of the kingdom. Such churches are not vehicles for personal fulfillment.
It won’t be long before he leaves the church in search of another. Most times, they leave for a Protestant church that alters scriptural teaching for the sake of the congregation. Most Pentecostal churches are magnet for people with such traits A Smaller church in need of members. A church that tells members that faith alone without works is enough to make heaven. Even though the passenger dies in a motor accident, the narcissistic would be unhurt because he is unique. This feeds his narcissistic tendency. He would actively participate in such gathering. A smaller gathering where one may rise to become a deacon or member of the pastoral council.
A new position especially one accompanied with the title ; Bishop, Pastor, Evangelist etc comes with a feeling of superiority over others. An individual who receive a new title begins to feel like a new shift has taken place within him. That comes with a tendency to look down on those without such titles. enforces the feeling of entitlement. Even when one does not actively demand it, the church members may begin to give such person special favors and respect. Members begin to kneel down and beg him to lay his hands on them. He feels powerful.A narcissist not only demand it but enjoys it .He begins to feel he is truely special from others. His narcissistic tendency increases.It takes a matter of time before his true nature comes out. He begins to preach a message of Grace. As a believer, you do not deserve to suffer. A feeling of entitlement. God owes him riches and wealth for believing in him. He begins to grumble about blessings not received instead of being grateful for those received. His sermon is means to glorify himself. Soon, he sees himself as better than the general overseer. He falls out with the owner and takes the next step.
He forms his own church or cult where he has autonomous power. Furthermore, he looks for gullible persons to recruit. Furthermore, he exaggerates a childhood incident as a sign that he was born special. He begins to elevate himself to a position higher than human beings and closer to God. Furthermore, he equates himself to scriptural prophets He replaces Moses, Abraham, with his name during prayer and admonishes members to do the same. Furthermore, he perceives himself as equal if not better than his scriptural characters.
Is your general overseer a narcissist?
Someone may wonder what religion, soccer and epidemic are doing in one sentence. The first signals faith, the second joy and the third sorrow. They all contain the letter “E”. The first two were affected by the third. Keep guessing.
A child is told he is bad. He is threatened by hell. Of course the human mind dreads pain. The person who threatens him with hell offers him heaven under givers own condition. Even a fool would choose pleasure over pain. The child accepts the condition. Religion wins. To take it a step further, religion develop a theory linking your unpleasant condition to your inability to give, and she has a cure for your suffering, but you need to pay tax and tithe to receive them. It is difficult to accuse him of greed. He is only here to help you.
If health workers were to instruct the whole humanity to stay at home, the human would refuse. A better way is to create an artificial virus or rather over- hype the mortality rate of a newly discovered disease. Then, tell the world to stay at home. They are more likely to obey. To take it a step further, produce a vaccine or a cure and watch countries struggle to buy. It is difficult to accuse pharmaceutical companies of greed, they deserve encouragement for finding a solution.
In both cases, the organization may take advantage of the human emotion of “Fear”. Whenever one plants fear on others, they are more liable to be controlled. The cashier is less likely to part away with cash unless at gun point. Here, the robber took advantage of fear of loosing his life. Discover a terrible condition. Exaggerate the condition and link them to his fears. Then sell a solution. He is more likely to accept your solution.
Have you read this far and still wondering how this is related to the game of football, think no more.
The super league organizers would have focused on the major stakeholders in the game- the players and fan and discover their greatest fear. By making the fans fearful, the organizers could then bring a solution- the super league. To illustrate,
August 2020- Lionel Messi to leave Barça as Spanish club unwilling to match his wage demand(fans wouldn’t like to see him leave)
Sept 2020 — Christians Ronaldo offered to club for free to curb club high wage bill(Italian league and Juventus fans would dislike this news)
October: Nigeria billionaire bids one billion dollars to buy arsenal as Most Ozil refuses pay cut ones again(some racist fans would mull on the prospect of a black man owning the club)
November 2020 :Chelsea players owed three months salary.(Players are affected)
December 2020 :Maguire, Rashford and Bruno Fernandez refuses to play until club pays wages.(players are affected)
January; 2020. Vardy scores three own goal in a match as a protest over clubs inability to pay staff and players six months wages.
February 2020: week 17 matches cancelled as Spanish players protest non-payment of wages.
March 2020 : Champion league to be suspended indefinitely unless financial situation of Italian, Spanish and English team improves
April 2021: American and Asia billionaire propose to Inject 490 billion annually to help stop closure of league
This technique will succeed in dividing the fans. The majority would be in favor. The fear of club shutdown is strong enough to draw supporters.
The clergy does not preach his financial desire to its members. Rather, he preaches concern for the members. The health workers did not ask citizens to stay at home for the benefit of the hospital management. Rather, she suggested stay at home because they cared for the masses. Our football club owners did not show any care for the fans. They only cared for themselves. An increase in revenue for them was all that matters. When dealing with masses, fear surpasses greed.
To break a rule, you must first understand the rule…Breaking Rules
The youth are angry, but sad and frustrated. The leaders are not helping matters. They are alledged to be issuing threat, force and violence . The elders should no better. Placing travel embargo on members and freezing their bank account would not dillute a heart burning with flame. It shows a government that wants to be feared rather than loved.
If we focus on the injustice, we will see more injustice. If we respond to frustration with anger or violence, we will contribute violence and hatred to the nation. Is that what we truly desire or do you actually desire something else?”
We want a to associate freely with the men in uniform. Let us begin by wsso
Her guides said, “Now you’re getting it. Instead of tearing down what you hate, build up something you love and invite people over. Watch how fast things shift when you create instead of destroy.”
She said, “I really never thought of it that way. I was so mad, so fired up, so angry. I just wanted to hurt the people who are hurting us. But I see now that I could be so much more effective by focusing on the solution instead of contributing to the problem.”
We were both profoundly affected by her guides’ advice. So often we want to rail against what is, when we could focus on creating what we desire. You don’t have to ignore injustice, but the solution is creation, not destruction.
Be a creator, and then be a beacon. Invite people to your creation. Deep down people want to move towards love, not hate, but someone has to build it first.
Think about something you hate that’s going on around you, and then
Supporting children in need of care and protection to make informed career decisions post 10th grade! Do you remember what it was like when you were in 10th grade – How did you feel? What were your fears? What were your aspirations? As a 10th grader, I was afraid of scoring below 90%, I was […]Career Decision Making – Why, What and How
I don’t believe any couple or set of friends that tell me “We don’t fight” or “We don’t argue”. It is virtually impossible to be genuine friends with someone without reaching some sort of conflict. If you really are in are in a relationship where you “never fight”, I just assume that neither of you […]When Conversations Get Crucial: Navigating Arguments in a Healthy Manner
Unpacking gender, religion woes, respectability politics, sexual liberation, & identity. Gender: Girl. Young girls are always held to a higher standard of purity and innocence. Boys on the other hand, are encouraged to be free and taught to explore their desires. I always wondered, why is that?. The minute girls are born into the world […]Pleasure is My Birth Right