One way to get ones family angry is to announce that one is about to leave ones religion of birth. There is this expectation that a child automatically inherits the beliefs of the parent. There is a column for religion in an infants birth certificate and it is to be filled with the parent own religion. But the birth certificate did not ask for the parent birth certificate but the child’s. The opinion of the child was not sought . Yet whenever the child comes of age and decides to leave the religion of his birth, the parents get angry.
Some religion encourages her members to discriminate against and disown their children for attempting to leave the parent religion. Other religion ask parent to kill any child who abhors such thought . Of course every religion wants more members. One way to do this is to promise after death reward to entice non members to join. Another way is to make punnitive laws to prevent existing members including infants. from leaving th toe religion. Their goal is to have more members
Civilization has made it ok for a grown up child to choose a career path different from that of the parent but it is unacceptable to deviate from one religion of birth. The parents did not take into consideration the individual characteristics of the child. An extrovert is more likely to feel attracted to a religion that gives members freedom of self expression and varieties. To compel the individual to belong to a religion that promotes repeatation of ancient prayers could be boring. Similarly, To compel an optimistic child to actively partake in a religious gathering that constantly preaches sin, hell, rapture, crucifixion,co tondemnation , etc makes one guilty. A positive approach would have been better.
To force belief to children and compell them to hold on to them for life is an infringement . the child religious freedom was not taken into consideration. Each child ought to be exposed to various teaching at an early age . He should visit the church, the mosque ,the shrine and other religious and irreligious group and study with them. and be free to choose according to it’s feeling. Wherever he feels joyous,that is his path . The parent can only bless him. This will teach him see things from various perspective at an early age and will make him more tolerance of those from other religious group. In this way, we build a next generation devoid of religious based violence.
My name is fe-armale . I am created to fear the male and obey his command. I am constantly reminded that I was made from his rib. If I do not worship him, he may take his rib back . That would be the end of my life. I am indebted to him for giving me life . God created him. He made me. He is my minigod.
My body is not mine but an extension of his. I do not own myself. My dad own me. He could use me to settle debt or offer me to his male visitors for pleasure. . He could give me out to any man in marriage without my consent . I must open my leg at his command and must remain in the union no matter how toxic. I must please my husband, brother and son for they are my moral obligation.
I try to dress in a way I feel. I am instructed to cover every part of my body. For my body is a temptation to the men. The same body I got from their ribs. I must surrender to his request no matter how illogical it seems. Every time I attempt to by myself, I am shamed for being such an ingrate.
Unti I got pregnant and gave birth to my son, I realized that men came through the legs of women.My eyes are open to reality. I was deceived . I have repressed myself yet you males do not appreciate me. You guys are insatiable. I weep because I see many girls who are still victims of the tale. I have had enough. I will violate the good girl code. I will deviate from the norms of the society. I will be Authentic.
Each time I look at every record released by any national agency, I notice a huge discrepancy between the core north and the south. Southern states top the literacy chart, number of successful WAEC candidate, number of jamb candidate, number of yearly graduates, etc. An outsider would believe the north are marginalized by other regions. This is not true. Our educational standard has been reduced to encourage the northerners to consider going to school. A pupil from that region needs to score fifty marks to get admitted into unity school whereas his counterpart in the south needs to struggle for a hundred and fifty marks. They are simply marked as educational disadvantaged state. I wonder how long they would continue to get pampered. Goodluck Jonathan initiated a free education system yet the same people massively voted him out. If he had done the same to the south, he would have been immortalized.
I do not believe that God created them with a deformed brain incapable of assimilating the Western concept. The likes of Sanusi Lamido Sanusi and Nasir El Rufai is a proof that great brains can come out from the region. It seems there is a conspiracy not to educate the masses. The way the almajiri free education system died quickly is an evidence that the elites do not want her people educated.
Education is dangerous to the political structure. An educated person can see beyond the deception of the elite.
Western education is dangerous to the religious practice. Western education encourage curiosity and doubt. The elite prefers to control the thought of its citizen. They want them to read only books they approve of. Books that makes it easier for the citizen to comply to their directive. It is a sin to read non approved books. They may open your eyes to the Ill of the controller. To prevent this, they give you only Religion education.
When Emir (Dr) Sanusi admonished his people against giving birth to numerous children beyond their ability to feed, there was an uproar. His ideas were against the status quo. He was exposing his fellow elite. Today, Emir Sanusi is no longer a traditional ruler. ,The Elite will g at iany length to shut the truth. The current Governor of Kano state,the man who dethroned Emir Dr Sanusi was quoted to have admitted that bokoharam recruit Almajiri boys into it’s fold.
Educated persons understand that an increase in population would result to a struggle for limited resources. . In the western world, more children means more tax. Barack Obama had only two children. Good luck Jonathan had less than four children. A northern senator boasted of thirteen children.
The Elites encourage them to continue to give birth to more children. God will take care of them. Those who are so poor that they could not afford to finance a wedding need not worry, the government used a public fund to sponsor their mass wedding. The leaders are not interested in educated people or a well-trained offspring. The leaders want more population to win votes. Poor people are interested in their stomach. They would do anything you ask them to do. They are easily recruited as hoodlums to snatch ballot boxes and commit other hoodlum. He may be told to drive into a park and press a button. He may be told that is what God wants him to do. He doesn’t know it is a bomb. A hungry, uneducated man is easier to deceive. In other words, they are advocate of pro birth, pro death and pro suffering.
Religion is an easy tool to achieve their aim. Religion teaches supremacy of belief. Our Religion is superior to theirs. When we identify with a religion, we have positive feeling towards in group members and negative emotion towards out-group members. It reinforces Us vs them. Whoever does not belong to us is against us. With Religion, it becomes easier to discourage western education. It becomes easier to fight against western education. This brings prejudice and violence. It is easier to convince poor Religious persons to die in the name of the almighty. A rich man will not leave his wealth behind. An educated man will doubt such teachings.
The society want its people to remain stupid it’s whole life because uneducated people are obedient. They do not have the cognition to understand how the elite use them like a pawn for selfish purpose. The elite wants living robots.
Education presents a different concept and hands the reader the liberty to choose as he deems fit. Western education breeds tolerance. One must not stick to gender norms. Women are free to aspire to be whomever they want. Education provides power to think for one self. It is the route to cognitive freedom, political freedom and religious freedom.
Other regions are tired of this region. The Igbos have not hidden their desire to break away from this region. The Niger -deltans cannot understand why this region controls derivative from the oil well. The middle belt laments they are being marginalized. This region cannot continue to be lagging behind while clamoring for power. Should each region get her autonomy, the core north would be the worst hit.
The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school in to marry her should examine his conscience. A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her. The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover. His generosity no longer counts as an act of kindness. He is only using her to satisfy his desire to own(marry) an educated person. He desires to improve his perceived status among his uneducated peers for marrying one of a higher status. He is no different from the rich man who gives while making a public show of it. The lady on the other hand desires a man to help her achieve her goal to be educated. She had to pretend to be love him to achieve her goal. There was no love. Each person only desired to use the other. The lady only outsmarted him in the selfish web. Some readers said he would have married her first before spending a dime on her. . It changes nothing. It does not guarantee a happy union. Who says she will not catch feelings for another person ? Who says she will not seek divorce later? It only transforms the problem. We need to examine our perception of love.
Love is freedom
Marriage is born of selfish love. We so often fall into the trap that the other person belongs to us. This simply can never be true. We love based on how useful the other person is to us. Husbands use their wives. Wives use their husband. The Hausa phrase I naso ki” is translated as I love you or I want you. If we love someone, we must desire to have such a person. If I see a flower, I must pluck the flower or I purchase the land. If I love a girl, I must own the girl by marriage. Bride price is a sign of ownership. This notion of love is distorted.
He has to prevent her from catching feelings for another man. Rather than giving love space and room to breathe, he clings to it, desperate to make the feeling stay. He has to continue providing all her needs, satisfying her in bed and protect her from harm, so she doesn’t think of someone else. Jesus said sexual thought is adultery. He doesn’t want this to happen. He lives in constant fear of loosing her. This, of course, is counterproductive. Love requires trust,. To love someone is to allow them to be their Authentic self. He suffocates her with his love. She desires to be free from him.
Mutual Love is ideal
The concept of monogamous marriage is a prison we create. It is ok to be in a monogamous relationship. It is alright to prioritize one relationship over a period of time but to remain in one forever is a disaster. Ancient man know it is impossible to stick to one partner forever. He misses his young moment of wooing various girls. The challenge of winning her love thrills him. To avoid this, Early man permitted polygamy. But he did not allow the girl to enjoy the same freedom. Rather, he taught her to cover all her flesh whenever she went out so other men do not admire his goods. She should not display an iota of Skin to the preying eyes of men. If she disobeys, she is called a slut. Her beauty is no longer hers. Her husband owns her. He explores his sexuality while denying her hers. Her body desires another even if it is for a moment. She needs someone else to spice up her routine sex life. She desires a new style, a new person. She engages in a one-night stand. Cheating arises from the body desire to escape from the societal cage. She is accused of being unfaithful to her husband. She alone knows how much she still loves her husband. Her heart is capable of loving more than one.
Are you t in love?
God is Love, and we are created in the image of love. The human soul is capable of loving so many but incapable of owning them all. True love is selfless. False love is selfish.
John 3: 16 tells us that God loved the world that he gave…….
God proved his love for humanity by sacrificing for the benefit of humanity. True love is in giving a part of oneself for the benefit of that which he loves. False love seeks to own the object of love. False love uses the object of love to satisfy his own need.
Marriage of today is based on false love. Women use men to satisfy her desire for a child, financial security etc. Men use women to satisfy his sexual urge and render domestic service. We ban prostitution. Marriage is legalized prostitution. Sex is traded for bride-price. The difference is the duration and sincerity. Prostitute has no feeling for you and you know it. In marriage, you both think you are in love when you love with the benefit the relationship brings. Take away those benefits and fight increases.
As long as a price is attached to the bride, she will be regarded as a property. African feminist should consider a campaign against bride-price
When one truly loves a flower, he does not pluck the flower from its stem. He does not transplant it to his own backyard. The soil condition may be different.The plant may die. Rather, he goes out of his way to water the plants and apply fertilizer. He derives joy by watching its beauty. He desires to improve its beauty. He is not threatened if others admires the flower. He has no interest of purchasing the flower.
When we genuinely love a person, we do not think of how to take advantage of the person for our own benefit. We do not intend to possess the person. Rather we think of how we can improve the other person’s life without depleting ourselves. . We give our partner freedom to be Authentic.
Marriage can be a prison. Divorce is an escape. Choose your cellmate wisely
One can love another without desire to be in a relationship with such a person. One can give to another without any intention of getting married to such a person. Relationship is a desire to grow together with the person. When the other person desire to grow in a different direction, one can only admire from a distance or support the person in whatever form one chooses.
To truly love means to allow your partner the freedom to be. To release the fear that they will stop choosing you and move on to another, to relinquish control and simply focus on being the absolute BEST version of you.
A reader asked me how much the devil paid me to promote divorce . she reminded me that family unity should be promoted over saperation. She lamented that my articles encouraged readers to. Seek Marriage annulment over the slightest provocation. I smiled at her assumption. The truth is ; I am neither for marriage nor for divorce. Rather, I am pro freedom, pro happiness and pro choice
Every blessed day, I see married persons secretly involved in adultery. I see couple in an unpleasant union but reluctant to dissolve it and unable to make it better. I see women who have lost their voice and power. I see individuals sacrificing their life for their partner who does not acknowledge them.
Studies Shows that unhappiness leads to diseases. This follows that these individuals are gradually feeling themselves to their grave. An unsatisfied marriage is detrimental to their life. Saperating oneself from such source of disease is necessary to save their life.A surgeon simple removes a life threatening tumor from the body. Wisdom tells us to divorce When your partner is a continuous trigger of grief. Our fear of public perception and fear of acknowledging failure keeps us stuck in an unsatisfied relationship. When the parents are always quarrelling, the child is hurt. The Bible tells us that God destroyed the world when human sinned and made God sad.
I am not concerned about your marriage status or your sexual life. I care about ones feeling. I want each person to priotise his/her emotional needs enough to detach oneself from the trigger of your sorrow and take more responsibility for one’s life. The message is to take decisions based on one’s own thought and feelings and make changes as we grow rather than hand over our power to an external body. We can create the life we wants and not one based on societal expectation.
Today is a day set aside for violence against women.The year 2020 has not been a favorable year for many of us. We drained our savings to eat during the end SARS saga only to be retrenched by the organization we work for. This has led many into all form of vices to make ends meet.
In a region where over fifty percent of citizen live in abject poverty,It is not uncommon for one to use any available means to put food on the table. Men use their physical do menial jobs like carrying block, pushing wheel barrow etc. Women resort to trading their punny to put food on the table.
The society is to quick to condemn the later while praising the former. Both group do not like their job. An American based research revealed that about 85 percent of prostitute would leave their job if they were in a better financial situation. The statistics would rise in third world countries. Environment that breed hardship also breed sex workers.
No parent who have children he cannot train would fold his arm and watch the child die of hunger.He would send him out to hawk for himself. Of course that is child labor and the parent ought to be punnished. The child is the victim here. To protect the child from harm, parent provide a framework- a shop close to the house – where the child can assist behind the scene.
Similarly, financially motivated prostitute are victims of the society and do not deserve to be punnished. Imagine standing semi- naked in the middle of the night exposing ones body to cold not go mention the various incident of non- payment and rape. The job is illegal so they cannot report to anyone. When they do, society turn a deaf ear.
Criminalising prostitution does not help the victim. A law should protect the victim from harm. The prostitute are not harming anyone.
Holland ,one of the few countries go legalize prostitution reports a thirty percent reduction in rape- reported cases. Would plying the route provide a glimpse of hope for the oldest profession in the world?
This year, the Federal Government joined other nations to impose a curfew as one of the steps to reduce the spread of covid 19. The people lamented on the effect such law had on individual freedom. Earlier this month,the nation marked her sixty years freedom from Western colony. Few days ago, the people protested against the Special Anti-robbery squad for (SARS) for invading on human rights.
While we focus on external freedom like geographic freedom, financial freedom,and political freedom we neglect a fundamental freedin- mental freedom. …. Mental freedom is freedom from society conditioning, society expectation and need for approval. It is the detachment of oneself from society labels. It is the recognition that one is not ones gender. One is not ones tribe.One are not ones religion .These are roles assigned to us while we are young. They were neccesary at that time when we lacked the ability to think. Now we have a choice to examine them and not carry them through adulthood.
Mental freedom begins by excersicing control over ones emotion. Ones emotion does not dictate what one does. Frequent outburst over little triggers signals one who is a slave to his anger. Theft and corrupt practices are signs of a slave to emotion of desire and greed. Whatever controls your emotion controls you.
Men who are unable to cry in public for fear of being labelled a weakling are in gender bondage.He cages those tears,act tough ,engage in drinking and smoking and other maladaptive act to suppress those emotion. A free person would choose to let the tears flow. Women who abandon their career to cater for kids out of duty as a woman and not out of love and personal choice is a slave to traditional gender roles.
One who is naturally kind and compassionate but will not hesitate to watch a thirteen years old boy die over opposing view is not free to his conscience. As long as we need an ancient book to tell us what is right and what is not,We cannot be mentally free. The book is thinking for us.
One who prefers candidate A but goes ahead to vote candidate B because his politicalGodfather, parent or religious leaders asked him to will continue to be a pawn in their hands. A governor who takes decision to please the Godfather but not in the state best interest is a slave to The godfather.
To be liberated from societal conditioning, we need need to examine the effect certain words have on us . He notices thoughts that brightens his mood and those that does not Why do I feel angry each time someone insults my Tribe, My prophet, my political party? These tribes, prophet, party existed long before I was born. I am not them. My happiness should not be tied to someone perception of them.
Next is to challenge our thoughts. Why do I belong to this group in the first place.? Could it be because my immediate family belonged here? If they belonged to the opposition, would I be a member of the opposition? Am I biased? Then he plays the devil advocate. He tries to see things from the opposition point of view. What if they are right?
We exlores our tendency to hand over decision making to Those perceived as superior to him Do I easily hand over decision to authority? Are authority always right? The present covid 19 pandemic showed a case of different medical doctors with conflicting view on the efficacy of Chloroquine in the treatment of the virus. Since experts could disagree over an issue, why can’t an individual disagree with the expert?
A mental free person explores various opinion ,engages in self- thinking and detach oneself from society labels. You are not your gender. You are not your tribe.you are not your religion .These are roles assigned to us while we are young. They were neccesary at that time when we lacked the ability to think. Now we have a choice to examine them . arriving at his own decision. His decision may not allign with that of the majority.He does then anyway.
Examining ones name, do I really love my name? You can begin by choosing a different name. One that reflects whom you really are or aspires to be. We can choose the values dear to us and live by them.
The journey towards mental freedom is not achieved over night. It takes periods of continuous effort . The society would never be in support of your quest.No jailer wants her captive to be free.
Marriage is an individual choice and not a collective one. The government has no business regulating how I use my genital. It is mine and mine alone. I decide who I choose to get married to . I can decide to share it with a single person or a married person. It is my freedom to choose to be a celibate or be married. While married, I decide with my partner whether to make it open relationship or monogamy.
Marriage is not for everyone. There are people who are happier single. I mean those who are do introverted that they cannot tolerate a very long time without feeling drained. There are people who prefer long distance relationship with few visits and frequent absence rather than continued presence. those whose high attention sexual urge cannot be satisfied by any one individual. There are others who dislike the boredom of sticking to one partner scares the hell out of them. Variety is the spice of life.The fun of experimenting with various sizes and types thrills them. There are yet another group whose need for independence and freedom makes them dislike the idea of consulting with another before making decision. There is another group that love to be in motion. They wake up one morning and decide to relocate to another state only to explore another culture the next year. Traveling is their hobby and getting married with kids hinders that . Settling down is like a death trap. Flowing water is cleaner. Stagnant water attracts mosquitoes and other microorganism.
Human needs are various. the concept of getting married does not fit into their ideal future. They are better off single or in an open relationship. imposing monogamy marriage on them will choke them. Their partner and children would suffer . Cheating is bound to occur. The fact that cheating still exist means we should question the effectiveness of monogamy and possibility of open marriage.
Investment experts would advice you never to put all your eggs in one basket to mitigate against risk. Economic expert suggest diversification and not depending on only crude oil. Why don’t we Apply the same analogy to our own emotional life. Risk is mitigated when we stop expecting one person to be our confident, sexual satisfier ,friend, mother of children etc. Can we consider open marriage and celibacy as alternative to monogamy
THE NAKED NIGERIAN 