The long standing question has always been, “Does it make a woman cheaper if she lets a man sleep with her on the first date?” “Does it make her less of a woman?” The answers definitely differ depending on different women and men. I should say, if a woman believes that sleeping with a man on the first date makes her cheaper then that’s it, that’s her perception but then if she thinks it doesn’t make make her cheaper, then why not. Surprisingly, it doesn’t even seem to matter what women themselves think of this, because even though a woman take weeks or months saying no to this man, when she finally gives in,she will still be termed as cheap, it doesn’t make sense, does it? Society always finds a way to put women in a corner, but what about the men? I haven’t even heard of a man that’s called cheap because he spent a night with a stranger!!! In fact, they even get praised for this, but then for women, slut shaming is all they get out of the experience.
Sex is a choice people make due to attraction,adulthood and probably other personal reasons. This whole stereotype leaves me baffled and with so many questions but among them is, “What does it make men?” Is it only women having sex on the first date,do they do it single handedly? Men are equally involved. Why should women be termed cheap, aren’t men just like them? Why are women being judged for something men also do? Wait, are men special, some kind of special that women are not? Ha, I doubt, I think it’s just a society that’s obsessed with manipulating women!
Sex shouldn’t be termed as bad according to gender, to start with, sex is not even a bad thing! Well maybe according to belief and religion, all religions I know speak against sex that’s not within the bounds of marriage, but yet again,who are we to question people,we should leave all this to God. None of us, neither you nor I, have the right to judge anyone for the choices they’re making, henceforth at no point should women be the only ones answerable for sex on the first date unless it wasn’t consensual.
Today is a day set aside for violence against women.The year 2020 has not been a favorable year for many of us. We drained our savings to eat during the end SARS saga only to be retrenched by the organization we work for. This has led many into all form of vices to make ends meet.
In a region where over fifty percent of citizen live in abject poverty,It is not uncommon for one to use any available means to put food on the table. Men use their physical do menial jobs like carrying block, pushing wheel barrow etc. Women resort to trading their punny to put food on the table.
The society is to quick to condemn the later while praising the former. Both group do not like their job. An American based research revealed that about 85 percent of prostitute would leave their job if they were in a better financial situation. The statistics would rise in third world countries. Environment that breed hardship also breed sex workers.
No parent who have children he cannot train would fold his arm and watch the child die of hunger.He would send him out to hawk for himself. Of course that is child labor and the parent ought to be punnished. The child is the victim here. To protect the child from harm, parent provide a framework- a shop close to the house – where the child can assist behind the scene.
Similarly, financially motivated prostitute are victims of the society and do not deserve to be punnished. Imagine standing semi- naked in the middle of the night exposing ones body to cold not go mention the various incident of non- payment and rape. The job is illegal so they cannot report to anyone. When they do, society turn a deaf ear.
Criminalising prostitution does not help the victim. A law should protect the victim from harm. The prostitute are not harming anyone.
Holland ,one of the few countries go legalize prostitution reports a thirty percent reduction in rape- reported cases. Would plying the route provide a glimpse of hope for the oldest profession in the world?
Slut shaming is the act of humiliating one for issues concerning ones sexuality. Women are mostly at the receiving end.One of the quickest way to hurt a girl is to tell her she is sexually loose. Many practices are considered inappropriate when done by a woman but accepted when committed by men.
Women are more likely to be punnished for putting on revealing clothes,purchasing birth control pills, expressing sex urge and prostitution. A study reveals that bye standers are less. Likely to come to the aid of a woman when she is dressed in revealing outfit. A woman who plays good and hides her sexual appetite is considered a potential awife.
Men are attracted by sight . A woman who reveals a lot gets the attention of guys who desire to have her and take her to bed. In the ancient times, women are seen as men possession. She is either owned by her parents when single or her husband when married. He tells her how to dress so that other guys would not invade her territory.Every guy protect his property from invaders.A sexually looses wife could get pregnant from another guy and bring the baby home to the man . He would not like to spend time, effort and resources raising another man child. Sexually reserved girls are valuable and sought after by suitors. A naive girl does not know any better. Any sex with his first partner would be satisfactory. Girls are attached to whoever disflowers her. A slut is assumed to have a wide farmland. It would be difficult for a guy with a narrow pencil to cultivate the land. Morever, a slut has numerous experience and could differentiate good from bad men in bed. A virgin may see a guy as a king but a slut knows he is just a learner. This account for the preference for virgin’s over sluts for men considering marriage.Fathers slut shame their daughter so top suitors can ask her hand in marriage. He hardly slut shame other ladies he is not related to. Men love slut as long as he is not related to her.He loves the short term sex they offer .
Women on the other hand understand that all social interaction is guided by the law of demand and supply. By applying the price elasticity of supply ,ladies unite to create an artificial scarcity of their punny while demand remain constant . This increases price (value). Ladies who dress totally covered and act prude make sex hard to come by . In return for sex, ladies demand commitment in form of marriage . Marriage serves as security for her during the times of pregnancy and child rearing. For this to work, ladies have to be in unity. They all have to play hard to get to increase their perceived value .When most ladies are sexually free, conservative women loose their power.
Whenever a lady likes a guy, she can only give green light. She will never tell him her feelings. This is because she does not want to loose her feminine power.She understand that the one less interested in a relationship controls it. She pretends she does not like sex so she maintains her power. Guys with high sex drive are easily manipulated by ladies.
For this reason, women slut shame each other more to act like a watch dog against themselves. They redicule their promiscuous peers to keep them in line. As communities fight wars, wives lost their husbands in battle . These widows would spend years without having sex . They can no longer hide their desire for it.They ended up as second wives or prostitute. Prostitution became necessary to cater for their sexual need and proceeds to take care of their children. These widow turned prostitutes offered services to single men who wanted experience but not ready for marriage. Women are loosing their power. They bash widows harder expelling the woman from all female gathering. In Rome,Women put on a special robe which sluts are prevented from wearing to mark a higher virtuous group from the lower promiscuous group. Young widows are patronised more than aged widows. They love the money they make and the freedom. They prefer not to get married again . Their daughter imitate them . Sluts are threat to marriage .
Slut shaming is a social construct. Feminist should stop blaming patriarchy for the act It is obvious that both gender are guilty for different reasons. We should look at the effect on the individual. A girl committed suicide for being called a slut. Her self-esteem was badly damaged. Women can begin by standing up to themselves when slut shamed.