Categories
family feminism gender nigeria women

Before you blame the man

I am not in support of physical assault of any form. I believe there are numerous ways we can discipline an individual. Nevertheless,No one is perfect. Let us be careful not to ignore the role women play to incite violence. True,Some men can be aggressive. Some persons have anger management issue and some women know when to use it to her Advantage. What about ladies who take on their partner emotional weakness? This story will illustrate my point.

Since I gave birth, my husband no longer give me the attention he used to. He spends more time at work. When he finally gets home, he quicky goes to bed to prepare for the next day. We engage in superficial discussion-the bills, our son, the neighbors, the house etc. He rarely comments on my outfit. There are times I would move around naked yet he would not mutter a world. He would be physical present with me yet thinking of his work. Sex was mechanical. He did not care If I cummed.He would sleep off afterwards. I cannot bear the neglect. I have tried to give him subtle hint as a woman. He is unable to interpret my signs. I have come out openly yet he plays it down. I got no choice but to proboki him The other day, I nagged bitterly. He walked out of the house. Every attempt I make shuts him down.I just came back from work and he did not bother to ask how work went. He fixed his eyes on the television screen watching a soccer match. I tried initiating a conversation with him but his eyes are fixed on the screen while giving me monosyllabic reply. I couldn’t take it anymore.

“GBAM”

I hit the television screen with a kitchen pistle until it blacked out. For the first time, he gazed his eyes toward my direction. He rushed me like an angry lion pouncing on its prey . I was unable to count the series of slaps and punches that landed on my face. I passed out and found myself in the hospital. I was bedridden for three days.

I came back home and met a changed man. He apologized for laying his hands on me. I still felt pain from the beating. He served me breakfast in bed. He would call me thrice while at work to know how I was faring. Knowing he was thinking of me while at work made me blush. He reminded me of the days we courted. I felt desired once again. I continued giving him the silent treatment for two weeks. I wanted to enjoy his affection while it lasted. I finally accepted his persistent apology.Our made up sex was fantastic. My satisfaction was his concern. He cuddled me afterwards. I have learnt that damaging what he cherishes most and receiving the beating of my life was the only way to get back the love we once had.It is a matter of time before he begins to ignore me again. Next time, I would break his car windscreen.

Some women can attest to this. Women spend time trying to understand their partner emotion. They know the best time to get money from him and the best time to ask for a favor. They also know what pisses him off and try to avoid it. She knows certain acts that makes him angry yet she does it and plays victim. When he reacts violently, the society label him a wife beater . Ever wonder why such women hardly leave their partner.The excuse I love him that is why I can’t leave him is bullshit. She love the attention ,the affection, the chase for forgiveness, the small shakara and the make up sex that comes with it. Other girls have their own reason for pushing him into hitting her.

This repeats itself until the man discovers that she subtly creates occasion to be beaten . He says to himself I think she loves it when I beat her up. She continues to provoke him and he continues to beat her up.The cycle continues. The worst mistake a concerned one would do is to suggest she leaves her husband. She will accuse you of trying to break her home.

Erin Pizzey, a vocal feminist spoke strongly against domestic violence. She founded a home for victims of women abuse. On one occasion she interviewed the victim and realized that she was equally abusive. She interviewed the rest and discovered that over seventy percent of the victim she rescued were equally as violent as the men. She made her findings public. She was suspended from the group she founded and was threatened by the victim she rescued.

Whenever you hear cases of domestic abuse, do not be quick to blame the man. Investigate the character of the girl first.

Categories
emotion ethics facts feminism gender nigeria relationship women

Does it make her cheap

The long standing question has always been, “Does it make a woman cheaper if she lets a man sleep with her on the first date?” “Does it make her less of a woman?” The answers definitely differ depending on different women and men. I should say, if a woman believes that sleeping with a man on the first date makes her cheaper then that’s it, that’s her perception but then if she thinks it doesn’t make make her cheaper, then why not. Surprisingly, it doesn’t even seem to matter what women themselves think of this, because even though a woman take weeks or months saying no to this man, when she finally gives in,she will still be termed as cheap, it doesn’t make sense, does it? Society always finds a way to put women in a corner, but what about the men? I haven’t even heard of a man that’s called cheap because he spent a night with a stranger!!! In fact, they even get praised for this, but then for women, slut shaming is all they get out of the experience.




Sex is a choice people make due to attraction,adulthood and probably other personal reasons. This whole stereotype leaves me baffled and with so many questions but among them is, “What does it make men?” Is it only women having sex on the first date,do they do it single handedly? Men are equally involved. Why should women be termed cheap, aren’t men just like them? Why are women being judged for something men also do? Wait, are men special, some kind of special that women are not? Ha, I doubt, I think it’s just a society that’s obsessed with manipulating women!




Sex shouldn’t be termed as bad according to gender, to start with, sex is not even a bad thing! Well maybe according to belief and religion, all religions I know speak against sex that’s not within the bounds of marriage, but yet again,who are we to question people,we should leave all this to God. None of us, neither you nor I, have the right to judge anyone for the choices they’re making, henceforth at no point should women be the only ones answerable for sex on the first date unless it wasn’t consensual.

BY ANONYMOUS

Model peace forum

Categories
feminism nigeria relationship women

Any Hope for the Whore?

Today is a day set aside for violence against women.The year 2020 has not been a favorable year for many of us. We drained our savings to eat during the end SARS saga only to be retrenched by the organization we work for. This has led many into all form of vices to make ends meet.

In a region where over fifty percent of citizen live in abject poverty,It is not uncommon for one to use any available means to put food on the table. Men use their physical do menial jobs like carrying block, pushing wheel barrow etc. Women resort to trading their punny to put food on the table.

The society is to quick to condemn the later while praising the former. Both group do not like their job. An American based research revealed that about 85 percent of prostitute would leave their job if they were in a better financial situation. The statistics would rise in third world countries. Environment that breed hardship also breed sex workers.

No parent who have children he cannot train would fold his arm and watch the child die of hunger.He would send him out to hawk for himself. Of course that is child labor and the parent ought to be punnished. The child is the victim here. To protect the child from harm, parent provide a framework- a shop close to the house – where the child can assist behind the scene.

Similarly, financially motivated prostitute are victims of the society and do not deserve to be punnished. Imagine standing semi- naked in the middle of the night exposing ones body to cold not go mention the various incident of non- payment and rape. The job is illegal so they cannot report to anyone. When they do, society turn a deaf ear.

Criminalising prostitution does not help the victim. A law should protect the victim from harm. The prostitute are not harming anyone.

Holland ,one of the few countries go legalize prostitution reports a thirty percent reduction in rape- reported cases. Would plying the route provide a glimpse of hope for the oldest profession in the world?

Categories
feminism nigeria relationship

Battle of the sexes

Women need men to rule over them

Like sheep with a dead brain

Logic used to strip her off power

In an effort to maintain male dominance

Public participation an embargo

Officiating in religion a sin against God

Tertiary education a financial waste

Rearing of children,her reason for been made

Trading her own punny is not right

Whereas men exchange money for physical might

Men make the rules .Men have the final say 

Abide by the unfair system, follow the way

Gets raped amidst struggle and cries

Her virginity taken ,her dignity her pride

Difficult to proof,justice to be denied

Threatened into silence she hides the crime

Atrocity committed by her dad she Trust most

Without pills, without raincoat

Seed begins to germinate. Stomach potrudes

She wants it terminated.but that is a taboo

Shamed for considering abortion

Men only concern is more population

Her body is a decision to be made by society

Her freewill taken,yet another cruelty

Forced to become a single mother

With all its shame and stigma

Social distanced like one with covid nineteen

“Do not be like her” mothers warn their kids

The men do not desire second hand property

She bears it all alone amidst poverty

Develops a passionate hatred for male

Seeks listening ear to tell her tale

Find solace among fellow victim

Under an umbrella of bitter feminist

Relieved to discover she is not lonely

Now she got a chance to tell the world her story

Whom do we blame

Male or female

Power abused yields anarchy

Power used in fairness improves loyalty

The hunted hunts the hunter

Grudge not! Enjoy the karma