Marriage counselors keep reminded the indomie generation how their mothers marriage lasted for over fifty years. Divorce was unheard off. This days, divorce is common. Single motherhood is celebrated.What went wrong?
We are quick to measure success but numerical advantage. Our forefathers might have enjoyed t
the ancient marriage but our great grand mothers certainly did not. Marriage favored the fathers. Fathers sought power to rule others . He wants to dominate ,to compel and be obeyed. To achieve this, he competed with his fellow men in hunting, farming and fishing. Successful ones are respected and his opinion is highly valued among his peers. Soon ,they nominate him to represent them in other community affairs. The authority intrigues him more.
But the road to achieve this is tough. Other men desire the same. This makes it highly competitive. Many men do not make it to the top. This affect his confidence. He seeks a substitute- another environment where he would feel highly respected and valued. Marriage is the answer. Get the male rulers to instruct women to submit to their husband. Get male dominated religious leaders to issue the same directive. It worked. He has authority over children and family. They obey his every wish. He feels powerful ones again. She is married, has someone to provide her physical needs. Emotionally, she dislikes her husband. She fears he would hit her at any time. Her daughter picks up her fears. Intimacy is lacking.
Men overabused his authority. He would beat her up over little disagreement under the watchful eye of her daughter. Her daughter begins to dread marriage . Education and civilization has brought a change. Women now crave for equality with men . A woman wants the same respect a man has. This agitation is the beginning of shift from patriarchy to an egilateral society. Women want to be president. Daughter is twenty and has refused to get married. She does not want to be subjected to the unhappy union her mum was involved in. She would experiment.
She makes a couple of male friends. She notices the wonderful vibes at the beginning of the friendship. Each time she agrees to date him, relationship turns sour. She no longer value the things he does. Initially, she appreciated them highly because it was not his responsibility. Now, she no longer tells him thank you. After all, he is doing his role. He no longer feels she respect his actions. She does not obey his instructions. She is happy. He is not. He is not in control. The quest for power and control which pushed him to marriage is no more . He files for divorce. He prefers a submissive woman.
They get divorced. They are still friends though. He visits her child She prefers her freedom to make friends at her own terms.
Would you stay in loveless marriage like your grandma or remain single in a loving relationship.