What’s Wrong With Sex? Is there anything wrong with two people coming together and just having sex — for fun — without first having an emotionally intimate relationship (assuming safe sex is practiced of course)?
I was raised to believe the answer to this is yes, that there is something wrong with it.
As a sophomore in high school, I had to write a school paper on why premarital sex was wrong. I did the assignment and regurgitated what I needed to get an A.
Privately I had doubts about what I was taught. And of course I went ahead and had premarital sex anyway, which turned out to be a lot of fun with no guilt or regret.
Looking back, I think I would have preferred to get an F on that assignment and had more fun instead. 🙂
Today I see absolutely nothing wrong with having sex just for fun, as long as it’s done safely and consensually. I think those who feel that sex is wrong, dirty, or immoral are terribly repressed. I’ve never met a genuinely happy person that felt this way about sex. Perhaps if such people just got laid more often, they wouldn’t be so grumpy.
Prerequisites for Sex What prerequisites do we actually need to engage in sex? A willing partner is really all that’s required. If you have a willing partner, you can have sex.
Serious rocket science here, eh?
Just to be clear, let’s assume your body and your partner’s body are physically capable of having sex as well.
All other rules, constraints, and requirements arise from social conditioning and are therefore unnecessary.
You don’t need to be married or in a committed relationship.
You don’t need to be dating.
You don’t need to be in love.
You don’t need an opposite-sex partner.
You don’t need to be exclusive with your partner.
Your partner doesn’t need to be exclusive with you.
You don’t need to be programmed in multiple techniques.
You don’t even need to have met the other person first.
All you need is consent.
Technically speaking, even your partner’s consent is a socially conditioned prerequisite, but I think it’s one we should maintain. The alternative is illegal, unethical, and hurtful. We can certainly enjoy sex without resorting to rape. Acting out your kinky fantasies, on the other hand, can still be completely consensual.
How many extra rules do you have in your head about what’s required for you to have sex above and beyond the most basic?
How are those rules working for you? Are you delighted with the results they’re producing?
Do your rules make it easy for you to enjoy the sexual experiences you desire? Or are they simply getting in the way and blocking you?
Do you realize that you have the freedom to choose the rules you want to keep as well as those you’d rather dump?
I’m not suggesting that you need to lower your standards to the absolute minimum. I’m simply suggesting that you take a good, conscious look at your current rules and requirements for having sex, and consider whether they’re helping you or hurting you.
Personally I have pretty high standards for when I will and won’t have sex. These standards, however, are ones I’ve chosen because I’m happy with them. I don’t maintain standards just because everyone else feels they’re proper and necessary.
ToLet go of unnecessary sex rules that don’t serve you. You decide what’s really important to you, and drop the rest.
There are people who prefer to buy ready made cloth and there are those who prefer to buy the material and see it according to their size. First they measure themselves using a meter rule then they cut off some pieces of material from the one bought in the market.
As we grow older, our body size increases. We need bigger tops. We do not keep forcing the smaller clothes on ourself. We will either feel uncomfortable or the cloth will get torn. We simply discard it or give it to our younger one and go get another cloth that fits us.
Unfortunately ,we do not adapt the same concept to our belief. As a kid, we are told what to believe,vwe do not choose them because we are too young to make decision. As we grow older, we begin to outgrow our religion. Certain belief no longer appeal to us . We have more questions than answer. We are told to rely on faith. This is the way the religion want to tie is down to it . Like a teacher who loves his student so much he does not want her to get promoted. He threatened his student with punnishnent to prevent his moving to next level. Such love cannot be in the best interest of the child. Religion threaten it’d adherent with hell to keep them glued together.
This is a sign that we need to try another cloth.we do not owe our religion any form of loyalty. We need to let go in search of better belief. Stagnant water attracts mosquitoes. One who stays so long in one belief would have a retarded manner of thinking.
We can go to the library or internet and read alternative religion practice.we can choose one that suits us and explore.Trying a new religion is a faster way for behavioral Change.
Every new religion sprung up from a founder who was not comfortable with existing religion of his time. Bobby Henderson invented pasterfaranism. Buddhism broke out as a social protest against Hinduism caste system. Jesus deviated from Judaism. Each religion was created out of dissatisfaction wilh existing status quo.
Each of the founder created a religion that fit their personalities. As long as you know yourself, you can create your religion that suit whom you are. The involve eradicating the part of the beliefs that do not appeal to your values., authentic self.Jesus valued forgiveness ahead of revenge. Love became his central theme. Buddha focused on how to stop world suffering . Detachment was his answer .
Each one of us can focus on any part of the world and try to make it better .we must not go about preaching our new religion to others . Living it in our daily activities is Paramount. As long as we keep wearing the garment of another founder, we will not be truely comfortable.we remain inauthentic. What fits A cannot fit B. This leads to hypocrisy