Object of desire

Many men intentionally under-perform for fear of incurring the envy of others. Some reject a high position because of the thought of being the object of so much envy in the department. At the end, he suffers, the colleague suffers, the organization suffer from mediocrity. The more an organization is able to act as though there is no envy, the greater will be the rate of employee growth and organizational performance. Envy is responsible for the slow rate of development because it resists innovation.

The. Key is to deflate praises for one’s achievement. The primary rule is never boast or brag. Our ancestors made rules to reduce envy. For instance, in some societies, a fisherman who catches two fish while his colleagues catches none gives them out. If he does not go empty-handed, he risks slanderous talks from the rest. In India, a hunter does not eat the animals he kills. Our forefathers tried to be fair in dealings . Ones input does not determine ones output. Those who worked hard received less or equal pay. This socialism lifestyle led to laziness. Today, the world practices capitalism. .

But there is a kind of envy that is rarely discussed. It is called generational envy. This is envy the older generation possess over the younger generation, who occupy a higher position at a relatively young age.

As two individuals begin to compare each other, a judgement is made. In one rare occasion are they equal. One is usually higher than the other. The higher one is may tend to become proud while the lower one tends to become envious

. Positive envy attempt to emulate the envious. It plants a competitive spirit, a desire to better oneself. Negative envy is far dangerous. The envious is interested in the object of desire that he wishes the other gets robbed, dispossessed or hurt. This kind of envy is destructive. Such a man is prepared to injure himself if doing so could hurt or injure the one he envies. Giving a gift to such person to dissolve the envy is likely to backfire. It is a reminder of one’s superiority and is likely to fuel envy.

One way to disperse such envy is to attribute it to luck and not personal brilliance and remind such persons of a recent disappointment, disadvantage, or mischance. Or better still, remind the envious person of areas of success in his life which is deficient in yours, This helps remind him of his superiority towards you in other aspect. By elevating him, you remove his eyes temporary from his object of desire.

Wound of absence

Show me I am beautiful

Worthy to be pursued

awaken my Feminine quality

And discover my identity

Not just a sperm receiver

Or your house cleaner

Financially competent

Emotionally absent

But a listener

To listen to my heart whispers

In the absence of one

I stood alone

Turn to destructive addiction

To cure the moment of Isolation

Hide my anxiety

Behind a submissive personality

The first man that should shower me love

Never found me worthy enough

Artificial Anger

A boss lashes at the subordinate for a minor mistake. The subordinate does not react . He might loose his job. He goes home still habouring the ill-treatment. His wife serves him a plate of food. He complains the food is salty. She reminds him it is the same food he claimed to enjoy the previous day. He yells at her. Suddenly there is a knock on the door. It is the pastor. He opens the door still stuck with anger . The tone of his voice changes and he becomes polite and friendly. When the pastor leaves, he reverts back to yelling at his wife.

Like Femi, the way we react to anger differ. In anger, we can yell at our subordinate because we are sure to get away with it. Anger is a feeling like hunger. We do not eat a stone out of hunger. There is a period to think of the consequences of our action.

Anger is a tool that can be used achieve an objective. We can tune it on and off at our disposal. We only need a little trigger from an external person. At times, we shout to get the other person to submit to us. Individuals who seek power to control others switch on their anger tap at will. Fearful, conflict avoidant individual comply to their directive easily. Both parties should learn to use effective communication tools .

Our Village people are not Heartless.

Festive season is a period people from all works of life travel to states of origin. There are rumors of how relation residing in the village attempt to kill successful ones. This fear has led many to take a vow never to visit the village for years.

Our Village relation want the best out of life like every one else. The environment limits them. Research by Miles Storpler, a genetic researcher discovered that hereditary accounts for about 65 percent of a young person capacity, intellect and ability while the remaining 35 percent furnished by environment determine whether or the sixty percent gets a chance to unfold. One raised in a detrimental environment needs more work to overcome. Those raised in rural areas are disadvantaged.

Each moment we travel back home to show off our wealth, we remind them of their failure to achieve what we have achieved. The society no longer respect people based on their age. The materialistic society places richer persons on the social hierarchy. A young rich man is respected over an old man. First son’s keep quiet during family meeting. Money talks.

The village people are human being with emotion. A highly recognized elderly man would not lose his status to a younger guy he carried with his arms as a baby. He would either desire to acquire what the young lad has or he wishes the young man does not have it. The former is difficult because of environmental limitation. The latter is more likely.

Any quality, achievement or advancement that provoke admiration is likely to induce this feeling. This includes wealth, status, power, fame, success, academic achievement, etc This resentment towards someone with desirable features is called envy. At most, village persons can be best described as envious and not wicked. This attribute is not peculiar to village people. Envy is highly found among the lowest of any group. The unemployed youth who stands in front of a newspaper stand criticizing the government is only envious. Should he get a government appointment, his envy would reduce significantly.

Envy also exist in urban areas. The competitive nature of our job promote envy. Marketers who are able to make more sales are promoted and thus envied by colleague.

How we can minimize envy :

1) Conceal your success. Must you show off your affluence? You may drive your Jeep in the town and drive okada in the village. Trek with them. Fetch firewood with bragging fuels envy.

2) Treat them as equal or superior : Show them respect despite your superiority. Do not laugh at their poor attempt at English. Speak the native language you both understand. Tell them their native food is more nutritive than noodles. Exaggerate the wonders of rural life. Praise them well.

3) Sharing : Giving some part of the object of envy with others. The envious person becomes a beneficiary of the object of envy.

2020- A year of anger

Anger flows in the land. The people are walking like a ticking time bomb waiting for any little fuel to ignite the internal flame. . The citizen stayed at home in an empty stomach to comply with the COVID-19 lock down order. The government wants her citizen safe from the virus. The citizen is threatened by hunger. A hungry man is an angry man. After the lock down, the organization laid off her workers. The hungry citizen are jobless. Anger is doubled. Officers of the Nigerian police force continued to be brutal. A joyful person could tolerate a certain percentage of pain. An angry person already feels pain. He seeks to eliminate the pain on the stomach and the pain of joblessness. He needs no physical pain from the local authorities. One little trigger was sufficient to ignite the pain he has been repressing. The youth protest began. It spread from police brutality to bad governance and then looting of warehouses.

Some Christians diverted their anger to God. They felt a sense of betrayal for not being protected from the massive job loss despite obeying all his commandment, rules and ritual. They felt used and dumped by the creator. Staying at home without going to church did not end their lives. So why bother going? A gradual loss of faith.

Others diverted their grievance to the clergy. Few church leaders launched an online platform for tithe collection. A hungry and jobless Christian threatened with eternal punishment for not paying tithe is the last thing an angry person expects from the religious leaders. Members expected the church to feed them the way Christ fed the five thousand. Their disappointment led them to swear not to go to that church again.

Anger like Joy, hunger, or sadness is neither good nor bad. It is an emotion to be felt. Anger can be a fuel for transforming one’s life. We need to be angry at our present circumstance before we can act to change them. Righteous anger is when we feel the pain of the oppressed and try to stop it. when we are angry, we feel it calmly to understand its source. Impatient anger could lead to violence or Hasty decision when we lash out instantly.

Righteous anger is speaking against the religious practice that is harmful or religious leaders that abuse their trust. Jesus vented his anger at the religious leaders in his time. He called them hypocrite. He scattered the moneymakers in the temple. He stated that his life mission is to free the captive. That includes those in religious bondage. He was not operating from hurt targeted at him. It was not a revenge mission. He was interested in uplifting humanity. Examine your anger holistically.

We hope 2021 would be better

Guess the emotion (A)

Everyone has felt me

In moments of threat or loss

I am like fire

To burn and to heat

Courage to be true to oneself

Channelled for a noble cause

To hurt and cause injury

Creates respectful boundary

Stand up against opposition

Say no to injustice

Injure our relationship

Strength to die for ones belief

Sparks creative ideas into action

Guess the emotion (1)

Why do I perceive you as a threat

To my important relationship

Why is my esteem shaken

At the mention of your name

Why do I imagine the worst

Whenever you are present

Do I retreat to my shell

Repress it and deny it’s existence

Do I keep close tab on you

Or go tell at the rival.

Unwilling to discuss the situation

Like the feeling is useless

Inner Guidance

What I feel is my Creation

What I see is my reflection

What impacts me is my attraction

Showing me something that needs my attention

Negativity are precious present

Bringing me to self awareness

Reminding me of my mission

To learn life numerous lesson

To trust the learning process

As I forgive my mistakes

Struggles are signs to let go

Of my need to control

Dig inside to find my true self

By shattering the veil of my false self

Empowered feeling signifies right track

Pleasant emotions are positive feedback

This mindset provide opportunity for growth

As I embark on a journey of self love

To the bestie that fell in love with me

I wanted us to be just friends and I told you from the very start. Some how we got closer.You began to feel something for me. I did not notice at first. Your jealousy increased I played it cool. Now you have opened up. I know Iy must have been difficult for you to . Now I cannot pretend any longer. We need to talk about it .

I do not have to pretend to feel the same way as that would be dishonesty on my part. I do not want to turn you down abruptly. For that would bring an end tovthe wonderful friendships.The awkwardness is what I am trying to manage now so we need loose everything.

I am sorry If I gave you any signal that I would be interested in taking decision is to the next level.

I need your affirmation that you can handle and accept the situation without feeling embarrassed and return to normal friendship without avoiding each other.

I promise not to tell any third party about this disclosure.I would tune down any flirting signs I might be giving unknowing

In memory

While I was away from you,.

my world did not stop to move

.why I  showered you my wholehearted love

Still remains a mystery yet unsolved.
We weren’t meant o last forever

But to propel each other to a heights greater
While we were apart , 

I became much happier and better
The land is greener on my side

I wish you a glorious ride