Categories
emotion

Object of desire

Many men intentionally under-perform for fear of incurring the envy of others. Some reject a high position because of the thought of being the object of so much envy in the department. At the end, he suffers, the colleague suffers, the organization suffer from mediocrity. The more an organization is able to act as though there is no envy, the greater will be the rate of employee growth and organizational performance. Envy is responsible for the slow rate of development because it resists innovation.

The. Key is to deflate praises for one’s achievement. The primary rule is never boast or brag. Our ancestors made rules to reduce envy. For instance, in some societies, a fisherman who catches two fish while his colleagues catches none gives them out. If he does not go empty-handed, he risks slanderous talks from the rest. In India, a hunter does not eat the animals he kills. Our forefathers tried to be fair in dealings . Ones input does not determine ones output. Those who worked hard received less or equal pay. This socialism lifestyle led to laziness. Today, the world practices capitalism. .

But there is a kind of envy that is rarely discussed. It is called generational envy. This is envy the older generation possess over the younger generation, who occupy a higher position at a relatively young age.

As two individuals begin to compare each other, a judgement is made. In one rare occasion are they equal. One is usually higher than the other. The higher one is may tend to become proud while the lower one tends to become envious

. Positive envy attempt to emulate the envious. It plants a competitive spirit, a desire to better oneself. Negative envy is far dangerous. The envious is interested in the object of desire that he wishes the other gets robbed, dispossessed or hurt. This kind of envy is destructive. Such a man is prepared to injure himself if doing so could hurt or injure the one he envies. Giving a gift to such person to dissolve the envy is likely to backfire. It is a reminder of one’s superiority and is likely to fuel envy.

One way to disperse such envy is to attribute it to luck and not personal brilliance and remind such persons of a recent disappointment, disadvantage, or mischance. Or better still, remind the envious person of areas of success in his life which is deficient in yours, This helps remind him of his superiority towards you in other aspect. By elevating him, you remove his eyes temporary from his object of desire.

Categories
ethics life nigeria

What kind of lawyer are you?

The legal profession is fraught with a lot of conflicting obligation.

1) Duty to client. 2) Duty to the society 3) Duty to own conscience.

The one the lawyer values most determine the kind of lawyer. In a case where a criminal admitted to killing of girls and burying them under a tree, Solicitor would react differently.

Friend; This lawyer is concerned about extending the relationship with clients beyond the office. He focuses on giving legal counsel to client. He gives client the advantages and disadvantage of taking each decision,raises moral conversation with clients with the aim of arriving at an ethical decision. When client decides to take decision contrary to litigator conscience,lawyer follows own conscience. May link client to a more open colleague.

Father : He ignores the interest of the society and focuses on what is in the best interest for client.. He keeps details to himself and take charge of decision taking. While the friend lawyers presents the details and hands over decision making to client,the father is responsible for making decisions.

Hired Gun ; Has no interest in morality. He does whatever the client want to done. The hired Gun goes at any length to ensure client victory . He could represent client in a case today and be against the client the next day. Money and wining cases is all that matters to him. Many Senior Advocates belong here. The client decides what is to be done. The lawyer decides how to go about it including engage in shady deals.

Clergy: Righteous lawyers hardly go far in the legal industry. His conscience guides his decision making. He considers the interest of the society . He aggressively persuade client to do what lawyer thinks is right . He is usually the poorest of the poor. What he lacks In finance, he gains in integrity. One may count on him to execute wills and other trust related issues.

Many lawyers choose their client interest above all because the client pays the bills. Hired gun will never condemn the client on moral issues. He believes that is the role of the judge. Personal knowledge of truth does not count as legal truth. hired guns may instruct murderer to lie to get out of mess. This gives the legal profession the terrible name. Clergy lawyers will suggest a confession with less sentence.

What group do you belong?

Categories
authentic childhood education ethics nigeria

Educated to sacrifice

I grew up like most of you out there subjected to three major kind of education. The first is family education, second is academic education and the third is called religious education.

Family education focused on duty. I learnt to be obedient to authority- my parents,elders, etc. I heard to do whatever they asked me to do whether I felt like or not under the assumption that they meant well for me.Failure to comply resulted to punnishnent. I learnt my first lesson- suppress your feeling and comply to avoid punnishnent.

The Religious education focused on submission. We are to submit to the instructions as written in the holy books. I must pray at a particular time and place whether I like it or not. If I fail to comply, I would be sentenced to eternal punnishnent. I learnt my second lesson. Suppress my feelings and submit to what the gods say or risk going to hell

The third education is societal education.We had to obey the written and unwritten laws of the land or risk getting jailed. No one cares if you enjoy paying taxes. I learnt my third lesson : suppress your feelings and conform to societal expectation.

All these education taught me to focus on ideas outside of myself. My parents, religion and society had little or no concern for my feeling . Pleasure and humor are to be swept underground.I am not to search for my own happiness even when my happiness does not interfere with that of others. I feel guilty for pursuing my dream. It means I am deviating from the dreams of the religious group,parents or society. It means I am a selfish fellow. I am a rebel for not living a duty oriented life.

Selfishness is synonymous with evil. A selfish person is one who is concerned with his own need. when did that becomes a terrible thing . we are encouraged to sacrifice our desire . Is self sacrifice really a virtue? Teaching of self sacrifice encourage one to value others more than oneself. It may lead to low self-esteem.Self sacrifice teaching has prevented many of us from achieving our dream.

Categories
buisness life nigeria

Loosing friendship over money

I am pissed off. Can you Imagine a friend just ripped me off? He sold a counterfeit product for the price twice the authentic one. I usually buy the product myself. This time around, I got no time to go to the market to identify the authentic one so I asked him to deliver one for me since he is a dealer. The price he called was expensive. Yet I decided to go ahead with the transaction hoping to get a super- original grade. Lo and behold, he delivered a substandard product. What annoyed me most was he had the courage to look me in the eye and lie to me that they were authentic. He felt I was a novice that would easily fall for his deceit.

I recounted this experience to a mutual friend. He did not look surprised .

This is a dog eat dog world .There is no friend in buisness . “Treat your friends the same way you would treat a stranger” is one unwritten law of buisness.

These words hurt me more. As much as I felt angry, I could tell it was true. My attention drifted to the entire economic system.we live in a world that priorities loosing a dear friend to loosing a penny. Competition is favored over cooperation in this masculine led society. To get up, one must step on the toes of others .To win, others must loose . To retain the job of a marketer, one must make a certain number of sales before a given deadline . It does not matter how you do it .- manipulate clients, sleep with them etc The end justifies the mean. The system promote cheating . Those who can break their values climb faster. The compassionate ones loose out.

The society encourages us to value money over our honor. The trader who cheats,misleads and overcharges and then seek to square himself with conscience by saying” lying is absolutely necessary for buisness is worshipped. The man who makes promises he cannot keep to get position is elevated .Many buisness- minded individuals ventured into sanitizer production during this covid 19 period. Some sold adulterated  version to increase profit.

The pressure can turn a saint into a crook.Can we have a society where money is not considered as priority. A society that values human virtues of honestly, kindness, fairness, forgiveness? A society where buisness is not done primarily for reward or money. Service is rendered because one enjoys the service first and money is a representative of the economic value of the service rendered. I have seen people advertise and sell goods they do not use. The motivation is to sell anything to make money without concern for the process of production or the effectiveness of product. . It begins with you and I.