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emotion feminism nigeria religion

Is this biblical verse becoming obsolete?

In Ephesians 5:33, Paul writes,

“let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” In addition to his command toward men, Paul says a wife should respect her husband .Respect your husband, period. That’s the standard the Bible gives to women

In those days, Women were relegated to the bottom of social order. She is a treated like a property to be traded for money. A woman cannot be a chief. She belonged to the kitchen. Her son’s opinion is considered ahead of hers. Ancient woman know It is normal for a man to hit a woman .she dares not complain

Today, women go school. Women rule over men . Women are given lots of preference during divorce litigation. Today, we have lots of agitation for laws protecting women from disrespect.. Women now crave for respect. Women do not want to submit to a man. They want an equal. Few women want men that will submit to their wish.

Modern women dislikes submitting to a woman

Ancient men know that the women they marry got no feeling for her. He only respects her for his provision. He doesn’t care for her love. As long as she respects him , he is alright. Most women marry men who are capable of catering for her basic need. In essence, A woman would select richer men.

Today, women who marry men for his wealth are called gold diggers. Men crave more than respect. They want love. They want a man that would be there for him when he has nothing. They want women who love them for whom they are and not just what they provide.

Today women want love and respect. Todays men want love and respect. Respect is not just for men. Love is not just for women.

Categories
family feminism gender nigeria women

Before you blame the man

I am not in support of physical assault of any form. I believe there are numerous ways we can discipline an individual. Nevertheless,No one is perfect. Let us be careful not to ignore the role women play to incite violence. True,Some men can be aggressive. Some persons have anger management issue and some women know when to use it to her Advantage. What about ladies who take on their partner emotional weakness? This story will illustrate my point.

Since I gave birth, my husband no longer give me the attention he used to. He spends more time at work. When he finally gets home, he quicky goes to bed to prepare for the next day. We engage in superficial discussion-the bills, our son, the neighbors, the house etc. He rarely comments on my outfit. There are times I would move around naked yet he would not mutter a world. He would be physical present with me yet thinking of his work. Sex was mechanical. He did not care If I cummed.He would sleep off afterwards. I cannot bear the neglect. I have tried to give him subtle hint as a woman. He is unable to interpret my signs. I have come out openly yet he plays it down. I got no choice but to proboki him The other day, I nagged bitterly. He walked out of the house. Every attempt I make shuts him down.I just came back from work and he did not bother to ask how work went. He fixed his eyes on the television screen watching a soccer match. I tried initiating a conversation with him but his eyes are fixed on the screen while giving me monosyllabic reply. I couldn’t take it anymore.

“GBAM”

I hit the television screen with a kitchen pistle until it blacked out. For the first time, he gazed his eyes toward my direction. He rushed me like an angry lion pouncing on its prey . I was unable to count the series of slaps and punches that landed on my face. I passed out and found myself in the hospital. I was bedridden for three days.

I came back home and met a changed man. He apologized for laying his hands on me. I still felt pain from the beating. He served me breakfast in bed. He would call me thrice while at work to know how I was faring. Knowing he was thinking of me while at work made me blush. He reminded me of the days we courted. I felt desired once again. I continued giving him the silent treatment for two weeks. I wanted to enjoy his affection while it lasted. I finally accepted his persistent apology.Our made up sex was fantastic. My satisfaction was his concern. He cuddled me afterwards. I have learnt that damaging what he cherishes most and receiving the beating of my life was the only way to get back the love we once had.It is a matter of time before he begins to ignore me again. Next time, I would break his car windscreen.

Some women can attest to this. Women spend time trying to understand their partner emotion. They know the best time to get money from him and the best time to ask for a favor. They also know what pisses him off and try to avoid it. She knows certain acts that makes him angry yet she does it and plays victim. When he reacts violently, the society label him a wife beater . Ever wonder why such women hardly leave their partner.The excuse I love him that is why I can’t leave him is bullshit. She love the attention ,the affection, the chase for forgiveness, the small shakara and the make up sex that comes with it. Other girls have their own reason for pushing him into hitting her.

This repeats itself until the man discovers that she subtly creates occasion to be beaten . He says to himself I think she loves it when I beat her up. She continues to provoke him and he continues to beat her up.The cycle continues. The worst mistake a concerned one would do is to suggest she leaves her husband. She will accuse you of trying to break her home.

Erin Pizzey, a vocal feminist spoke strongly against domestic violence. She founded a home for victims of women abuse. On one occasion she interviewed the victim and realized that she was equally abusive. She interviewed the rest and discovered that over seventy percent of the victim she rescued were equally as violent as the men. She made her findings public. She was suspended from the group she founded and was threatened by the victim she rescued.

Whenever you hear cases of domestic abuse, do not be quick to blame the man. Investigate the character of the girl first.

Categories
emotion ethics facts feminism gender nigeria relationship women

Does it make her cheap

The long standing question has always been, “Does it make a woman cheaper if she lets a man sleep with her on the first date?” “Does it make her less of a woman?” The answers definitely differ depending on different women and men. I should say, if a woman believes that sleeping with a man on the first date makes her cheaper then that’s it, that’s her perception but then if she thinks it doesn’t make make her cheaper, then why not. Surprisingly, it doesn’t even seem to matter what women themselves think of this, because even though a woman take weeks or months saying no to this man, when she finally gives in,she will still be termed as cheap, it doesn’t make sense, does it? Society always finds a way to put women in a corner, but what about the men? I haven’t even heard of a man that’s called cheap because he spent a night with a stranger!!! In fact, they even get praised for this, but then for women, slut shaming is all they get out of the experience.




Sex is a choice people make due to attraction,adulthood and probably other personal reasons. This whole stereotype leaves me baffled and with so many questions but among them is, “What does it make men?” Is it only women having sex on the first date,do they do it single handedly? Men are equally involved. Why should women be termed cheap, aren’t men just like them? Why are women being judged for something men also do? Wait, are men special, some kind of special that women are not? Ha, I doubt, I think it’s just a society that’s obsessed with manipulating women!




Sex shouldn’t be termed as bad according to gender, to start with, sex is not even a bad thing! Well maybe according to belief and religion, all religions I know speak against sex that’s not within the bounds of marriage, but yet again,who are we to question people,we should leave all this to God. None of us, neither you nor I, have the right to judge anyone for the choices they’re making, henceforth at no point should women be the only ones answerable for sex on the first date unless it wasn’t consensual.

BY ANONYMOUS

Model peace forum

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family feminism gender life nigeria relationship women

Slutshaming among men and women

Slut shaming is the act of humiliating one for issues concerning ones sexuality. Women are mostly at the receiving end.One of the quickest way to hurt a girl is to tell her she is sexually loose. Many practices are considered inappropriate when done by a woman but accepted when committed by men.

Women are more likely to be punnished for putting on revealing clothes,purchasing birth control pills, expressing sex urge and prostitution. A study reveals that bye standers are less. Likely to come to the aid of a woman when she is dressed in revealing outfit. A woman who plays good and hides her sexual appetite is considered a potential awife.

Men are attracted by sight . A woman who reveals a lot gets the attention of guys who desire to have her and take her to bed. In the ancient times, women are seen as men possession. She is either owned by her parents when single or her husband when married. He tells her how to dress so that other guys would not invade her territory.Every guy protect his property from invaders.A sexually looses wife could get pregnant from another guy and bring the baby home to the man . He would not like to spend time, effort and resources raising another man child. Sexually reserved girls are valuable and sought after by suitors. A naive girl does not know any better. Any sex with his first partner would be satisfactory. Girls are attached to whoever disflowers her. A slut is assumed to have a wide farmland. It would be difficult for a guy with a narrow pencil to cultivate the land. Morever, a slut has numerous experience and could differentiate good from bad men in bed. A virgin may see a guy as a king but a slut knows he is just a learner. This account for the preference for virgin’s over sluts for men considering marriage.Fathers slut shame their daughter so top suitors can ask her hand in marriage. He hardly slut shame other ladies he is not related to. Men love slut as long as he is not related to her.He loves the short term sex they offer .

Women on the other hand understand that all social interaction is guided by the law of demand and supply. By applying the price elasticity of supply ,ladies unite to create an artificial scarcity of their punny while demand remain constant . This increases price (value). Ladies who dress totally covered and act prude make sex hard to come by . In return for sex, ladies demand commitment in form of marriage . Marriage serves as security for her during the times of pregnancy and child rearing. For this to work, ladies have to be in unity. They all have to play hard to get to increase their perceived value .When most ladies are sexually free, conservative women loose their power.

Whenever a lady likes a guy, she can only give green light. She will never tell him her feelings. This is because she does not want to loose her feminine power.She understand that the one less interested in a relationship controls it. She pretends she does not like sex so she maintains her power. Guys with high sex drive are easily manipulated by ladies.

For this reason, women slut shame each other more to act like a watch dog against themselves. They redicule their promiscuous peers to keep them in line. As communities fight wars, wives lost their husbands in battle . These widows would spend years without having sex . They can no longer hide their desire for it.They ended up as second wives or prostitute. Prostitution became necessary to cater for their sexual need and proceeds to take care of their children. These widow turned prostitutes offered services to single men who wanted experience but not ready for marriage. Women are loosing their power. They bash widows harder expelling the woman from all female gathering. In Rome,Women put on a special robe which sluts are prevented from wearing to mark a higher virtuous group from the lower promiscuous group. Young widows are patronised more than aged widows. They love the money they make and the freedom. They prefer not to get married again . Their daughter imitate them . Sluts are threat to marriage .

Slut shaming is a social construct. Feminist should stop blaming patriarchy for the act It is obvious that both gender are guilty for different reasons. We should look at the effect on the individual. A girl committed suicide for being called a slut. Her self-esteem was badly damaged. Women can begin by standing up to themselves when slut shamed.

Categories
childhood family feminism life relationship women

Masculine women and Feminine men

When Nollywood actor Pet Edochie fumed at the young men kneeling before a woman, he was backlashed. Pet was comparing happenings in his youthful age against  the youth in this generation. The traditional Igbo man is highly placed in the society. During traditional wedding,the woman kneels down to propose to the man.The one who kneels begs the other for a favor.A typical Igbo man hardly kneels for his fellow man talkless of a woman . He only kneels for the gods who he recognizes as more powerful than he is.

Pet is  not alone. Many men have noticed a decline in the masculinity of men. The Alpha male movement and redpill movement are attempt to correct this imbalance.When did thngs change? When did man begin to loose his ego to stoop so low to kneel before a less powerful being. Was the change sudden or gradual?

Women were seen as irrational and emotional.Men were the rational and strong willed. Men were taught to act like men They had to suppress their emotion close to their heart. Men should never cry in public.  Expression of vulnerability  is a sign of a weak man.  Men are closed minded, rigid and structured. He should not seek fun .Men. Should always be in power, strive for control, compete.They lack empathy necessary for effective communication and connection.

In early days, male children joined their fathers in the river fishing or the forest haunting. Female spent their time with the mothers cooking. Each gender know his role. You hardly see a man in the kitchen or a girl hunting. Men learnt to act like men and women learnt to act like women.Then came the industrial era. Lands meant for farming and hunting was taking over by the government to build factory. The owners of the land were jobless.To offer compensation, the men were integrated as workers in this factory. Their male children were not allowed to follow dad to work.son stays at home with the mum while Dad went to work. Father leaves home as early as eight and comes home by six. He is exhausted, he sleeps to get strength for the next day. Fathers became absent in their son’s life. The role of dad in son life began to reduce while the role of mum in son life began to rise. Mummy passes over her feminine qualities to growing son.

Then came education. Female involvement in  education at an early age especially science and  law improve her reasoning abilities (masculinity) . Female take part in competitive games like the male counterpart. This improves their aggression.These women ended up as heads of organization.They took  decision and gave instructions . These women began to have a thirst of power . Their masculine qualities were awoken.

Girls  who enjoy highly competitive games with a desire to win also increases their aggression (masculinity). We tag such women names like Tomboy. They are ladies with highly developed masculine side and poorly developed feminine side.. Such masculine girls are attracted to  the beta guys. If a man is more masculine in nature,he will be attracted to a very feminine woman who will compliment his energy. Balance men prefer neutral women.. Masculine girls at attracted to a feminine guy or sisi or beta guy . Such guys are few as society teaches guys to wear the Alpha mask. She can only find solace among her fellow feminine women. This is the origin of homosexuality- . Heterosexual are no different from homosexual as both seek balance .

Society has widened this energy balance over the years. Civilisation is bring closing the gap. Homosexual are closer to achieving balance compared to heterosexual. Yet, Homosexuals feel guilty for not complying with society expectation. . There is nothing wrong with homosexuality, for it IS what is. However, we need to bear in mind that society at this time is traumatized due to so many centurie conditioned to comply with that. DO we want to fit in? Until WHEN? We need to learn to Love who we are, while allowing others to be what they want to be. Acceptance is the way of Life.

We should understand that each individual hold masculine and feminine qualities within us. When both qualities are not well alligned, the person is out of balance. The traditional gender roles over the years has created highly masculine males on one hand and highly feminine female on the other side.  we are drawn to certain individual that help us correct these imbalance. These highly masculine males become attracted to highly feminine female.

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family gender nigeria relationship women

identifying potential rapist by their words

A man is a rape-supporter if…

*.He has ever sexually engaged with any woman while she was underage, drunk, high, physically restrained, unconscious, or subjected to psychological, physical, economic, or emotional coercion.

*.He has blamed a woman for “putting herself in a situation” where she “could be” attacked.

*.
*.He threatens to patronise prostitutes when patner says no to his sex appeal defends .

Defends men accused for rape in court even with glaring evidence

*.He watches pornography in which women are depicted.
*.He watches any pornography in which sexual acts are depicted as a struggle for power or domination, regardless of whether women are present.

*.He characterizes the self-sexualizing behavior of some women, such as wearing make-up or high heels, as evidence of women’s desire to “get” a man.

*.He tells or laughs at jokes involving women being attacked, sexually “hoodwinked,” or sexually harassed.

*.He expresses enjoyment of movies/musicals/TV shows/plays in which women are sexually demeaned or presented as sexual objects

*.He mocks women who complain about sexual attacks, sexual harassment, street cat-calls, media depictions of women, or other forms of sexual objectification.

For every penny he gives you, he indirectly expects girl to pay back in kind

*.He states or implies that women who do not want to have sex with men are “inhibited,” “prudes,” “stuck-up,” “man-haters,” or psychologically ill.

*.He argues that certain male behaviors towards women are “cultural” and therefore not legitimate subjects of feminist attention.

*.He ever subordinates the interests of women in a given population to the interests of the men in that population, or proceeds in discussions as if the interests of the women are the same as the interests of the men.

*.He promotes religious or philosophical views in which a woman’s physical/psychological/emotional/sexual well-being is subordinated to a man’s.

*.He describes female anatomy in terms of penetration, or uses terms referencing the supposed “emptiness” of female anatomy when describing women.e.g calling girls holes.

*.He defends the sexualization or sexual abuse of minor females on the grounds of “consent” or “willingness.”

*.He promotes the idea that women as a class are happier or more fulfilled if they have man, or that they “should” have man.

*.He argues that people (or just “men”) have sexual “needs.”

*.He discusses the “types” of women he finds sexually appealing and/or attempts to demean women by telling them he does not find them sexually appealing.

*.He defends these actions by saying that some women also engage in rape.

Are you guilty of any of these?

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gender women

women hatred for each other

the pride of a woman lies on her beauty while that of a man lies on his wealth. However,men are happy when their fellow men achieve. They tend to hang out with wealthy men in order to benefit from their wealth. The same cant be said of ladies.cute women tend to hate more beautiful ladies.

Women tend to focus on other persons and not themselves.this is why they tend to gossip more.they easily notice a girl who excells in an area they lack.when they see a girl having the looks they crave for, they tend to be jelous.

Girls lov to take center of action.if a woman walks in a room of men.she likes all eyes to admire her. All those flattering,extra cash etc from male colleagues .when a more beautiful lady enters the scene, it becomes obvious she has a challenger. She cant compete with someone more endowned so she begins to hate.

If the beautiful lady is closer to her by family. There is a rule. The beautiful girl must never meet your guy else he starts chasing her and leaves you.girls take relationship too seriously.

Such jelousy leads to insecurity. They know the girl is more endowned than they are and is capable of winning them in beauty contest.

Ladies know the feminine power and they know beautiful ladies naturally use it on men to get favours. Smart cute ladies who use their brains hate seeing beautiful ladies esp with sleeveless and short skirts. They hate it when some beautiful lady use their beauty to degrade womanhood.