Masculine women and Feminine men

When Nollywood actor Pet Edochie fumed at the young men kneeling before a woman, he was backlashed. Pet was comparing happenings in his youthful age against  the youth in this generation. The traditional Igbo man is highly placed in the society. During traditional wedding,the woman kneels down to propose to the man.The one who kneels begs the other for a favor.A typical Igbo man hardly kneels for his fellow man talkless of a woman . He only kneels for the gods who he recognizes as more powerful than he is.

Pet is  not alone. Many men have noticed a decline in the masculinity of men. The Alpha male movement and redpill movement are attempt to correct this imbalance.When did thngs change? When did man begin to loose his ego to stoop so low to kneel before a less powerful being. Was the change sudden or gradual?

Women were seen as irrational and emotional.Men were the rational and strong willed. Men were taught to act like men They had to suppress their emotion close to their heart. Men should never cry in public.  Expression of vulnerability  is a sign of a weak man.  Men are closed minded, rigid and structured. He should not seek fun .Men. Should always be in power, strive for control, compete.They lack empathy necessary for effective communication and connection.

In early days, male children joined their fathers in the river fishing or the forest haunting. Female spent their time with the mothers cooking. Each gender know his role. You hardly see a man in the kitchen or a girl hunting. Men learnt to act like men and women learnt to act like women.Then came the industrial era. Lands meant for farming and hunting was taking over by the government to build factory. The owners of the land were jobless.To offer compensation, the men were integrated as workers in this factory. Their male children were not allowed to follow dad to work.son stays at home with the mum while Dad went to work. Father leaves home as early as eight and comes home by six. He is exhausted, he sleeps to get strength for the next day. Fathers became absent in their son’s life. The role of dad in son life began to reduce while the role of mum in son life began to rise. Mummy passes over her feminine qualities to growing son.

Then came education. Female involvement in  education at an early age especially science and  law improve her reasoning abilities (masculinity) . Female take part in competitive games like the male counterpart. This improves their aggression.These women ended up as heads of organization.They took  decision and gave instructions . These women began to have a thirst of power . Their masculine qualities were awoken.

Girls  who enjoy highly competitive games with a desire to win also increases their aggression (masculinity). We tag such women names like Tomboy. They are ladies with highly developed masculine side and poorly developed feminine side.. Such masculine girls are attracted to  the beta guys. If a man is more masculine in nature,he will be attracted to a very feminine woman who will compliment his energy. Balance men prefer neutral women.. Masculine girls at attracted to a feminine guy or sisi or beta guy . Such guys are few as society teaches guys to wear the Alpha mask. She can only find solace among her fellow feminine women. This is the origin of homosexuality- . Heterosexual are no different from homosexual as both seek balance .

Society has widened this energy balance over the years. Civilisation is bring closing the gap. Homosexual are closer to achieving balance compared to heterosexual. Yet, Homosexuals feel guilty for not complying with society expectation. . There is nothing wrong with homosexuality, for it IS what is. However, we need to bear in mind that society at this time is traumatized due to so many centurie conditioned to comply with that. DO we want to fit in? Until WHEN? We need to learn to Love who we are, while allowing others to be what they want to be. Acceptance is the way of Life.

We should understand that each individual hold masculine and feminine qualities within us. When both qualities are not well alligned, the person is out of balance. The traditional gender roles over the years has created highly masculine males on one hand and highly feminine female on the other side.  we are drawn to certain individual that help us correct these imbalance. These highly masculine males become attracted to highly feminine female.

How I discovered my gift

I have been fascinated about the prospect of working and earning money. My first experience came as an industrial attachment at a construction company . The thought of doing something new excited me. As time past, I began to dread the Job.I felt depressed toward the end of each day as I contemplate going to work the next day .I only enjoyed the weekly allowance and the monthly wage. I felt bad knowing fully well that I would spend the next five days trading my time for an activity I dreaded. I wished everyday were a holiday. I was glad It finally ended. I vowed never to work in an engineering company. I have high regards for those who work there but I know It did not reflect my abilities and interests.

I laid my hands on marketing. I was thought various ways to open and close sales and other ways to get others to purchase goods. As time passes I began to feel guilty for manipulating people to generate sales. Integrity has always been my top value and marketing does not allign with It. Before now,I used to think the feeling of sadness on Sundays experienced by low income earners engaging in menial jobs at uncomfortable environment. How wrong was I?

Then came the compulsory National Youth Service Corps.(NYSC) I was posted to a rural area in the North Eastern part of the country to teach mathematics. My love for mathematics was second to none. I taught Jss1-3. I had not less than 10 periods per week twice more than the second highest corper posted in the school. The students were slow learner. I had to teach them according to their pace. At times, I would organise free evening classes for those that are interested. Despite my heavy workload, I squeezed out time for private lesson. Whenever I see any empty class, I would begin teaching them.

If anyone had told me that I would enjoy teaching, I would have disagreed instantly. Here I am rejecting other job for teaching. Teaching does not put me in a position to deceive or manipulate people like sales. Rather, teaching reflect my personality.I am someone who enjoys been surrounded by children whom I care deeply for , patiently guide them to make better decisions for themselves and the world. I prefer been surrounded by children who are aware of their ignorance and are open to learning unlike mode adults . NYSC made me realize my calling as a teacher. I look forward to going to work. The Covid 19 break did not prevent me from teaching as I organised students within my street and taught them for little . I feel energised each time I teach .I feel my contribution is respected and appreciated . Despite the fact that teachers are undervalued in the society, I feel proud describing my work to others.

IF not for NYSC ,I would still be wandering from one Job to another in search for the one that suit me. Today I am no longer in support of the scrapping of NYSC.

Born to kill

The image of a foetus

stabbing a helpless woman

keep playing on my head.

It was all my fault.

If not for me

She would be alive today

A choice had to be made

My life or hers

I lived she did not.

I took her life.

She gave me mine

If superstition were true

The circumstances surrounding ones birth

Gives a clue of his mission.

I took a life the day I was born

She died during child birth

Each time my birthday draws near

My soul is filled with guilt

Reminds me of my life purpose

I am born to kill