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emotion

Object of desire

Many men intentionally under-perform for fear of incurring the envy of others. Some reject a high position because of the thought of being the object of so much envy in the department. At the end, he suffers, the colleague suffers, the organization suffer from mediocrity. The more an organization is able to act as though there is no envy, the greater will be the rate of employee growth and organizational performance. Envy is responsible for the slow rate of development because it resists innovation.

The. Key is to deflate praises for one’s achievement. The primary rule is never boast or brag. Our ancestors made rules to reduce envy. For instance, in some societies, a fisherman who catches two fish while his colleagues catches none gives them out. If he does not go empty-handed, he risks slanderous talks from the rest. In India, a hunter does not eat the animals he kills. Our forefathers tried to be fair in dealings . Ones input does not determine ones output. Those who worked hard received less or equal pay. This socialism lifestyle led to laziness. Today, the world practices capitalism. .

But there is a kind of envy that is rarely discussed. It is called generational envy. This is envy the older generation possess over the younger generation, who occupy a higher position at a relatively young age.

As two individuals begin to compare each other, a judgement is made. In one rare occasion are they equal. One is usually higher than the other. The higher one is may tend to become proud while the lower one tends to become envious

. Positive envy attempt to emulate the envious. It plants a competitive spirit, a desire to better oneself. Negative envy is far dangerous. The envious is interested in the object of desire that he wishes the other gets robbed, dispossessed or hurt. This kind of envy is destructive. Such a man is prepared to injure himself if doing so could hurt or injure the one he envies. Giving a gift to such person to dissolve the envy is likely to backfire. It is a reminder of one’s superiority and is likely to fuel envy.

One way to disperse such envy is to attribute it to luck and not personal brilliance and remind such persons of a recent disappointment, disadvantage, or mischance. Or better still, remind the envious person of areas of success in his life which is deficient in yours, This helps remind him of his superiority towards you in other aspect. By elevating him, you remove his eyes temporary from his object of desire.

Categories
africa emotion nigeria

Our Village people are not Heartless.

Festive season is a period people from all works of life travel to states of origin. There are rumors of how relation residing in the village attempt to kill successful ones. This fear has led many to take a vow never to visit the village for years.

Our Village relation want the best out of life like every one else. The environment limits them. Research by Miles Storpler, a genetic researcher discovered that hereditary accounts for about 65 percent of a young person capacity, intellect and ability while the remaining 35 percent furnished by environment determine whether or the sixty percent gets a chance to unfold. One raised in a detrimental environment needs more work to overcome. Those raised in rural areas are disadvantaged.

Each moment we travel back home to show off our wealth, we remind them of their failure to achieve what we have achieved. The society no longer respect people based on their age. The materialistic society places richer persons on the social hierarchy. A young rich man is respected over an old man. First son’s keep quiet during family meeting. Money talks.

The village people are human being with emotion. A highly recognized elderly man would not lose his status to a younger guy he carried with his arms as a baby. He would either desire to acquire what the young lad has or he wishes the young man does not have it. The former is difficult because of environmental limitation. The latter is more likely.

Any quality, achievement or advancement that provoke admiration is likely to induce this feeling. This includes wealth, status, power, fame, success, academic achievement, etc This resentment towards someone with desirable features is called envy. At most, village persons can be best described as envious and not wicked. This attribute is not peculiar to village people. Envy is highly found among the lowest of any group. The unemployed youth who stands in front of a newspaper stand criticizing the government is only envious. Should he get a government appointment, his envy would reduce significantly.

Envy also exist in urban areas. The competitive nature of our job promote envy. Marketers who are able to make more sales are promoted and thus envied by colleague.

How we can minimize envy :

1) Conceal your success. Must you show off your affluence? You may drive your Jeep in the town and drive okada in the village. Trek with them. Fetch firewood with bragging fuels envy.

2) Treat them as equal or superior : Show them respect despite your superiority. Do not laugh at their poor attempt at English. Speak the native language you both understand. Tell them their native food is more nutritive than noodles. Exaggerate the wonders of rural life. Praise them well.

3) Sharing : Giving some part of the object of envy with others. The envious person becomes a beneficiary of the object of envy.