The Anglican Church announced the suspension of one of her bishop for having sexual intercourse with a pastors wife This is not the first time men of God are involved in adultery and fornication.The profession is associated with integrity.Members of the church find it difficult to recover from the shock afterward. Many point accusation fingers on the pastors. This article examines reasons clergy get involved in such scandal.
1) The Bible did not offer proper sex education: The best the Bible told us to do is to avoid sex outside marriage. That is not a sufficient sex education. Infact, To tell someone not to perform an act is to instill the idea on the individual. This is evident in the fall of Adam and Eve.
2)The position is tempting; The role involves a lot of one on one counselling section with female members. Research shows that those who share intimate part of their lives to a stranger tend to fall in love with that stranger. Female members open up emotionally to their pastor, Women need someone to listen to her endless tales. This leads to a development of feelings for the pastor. If care is not taken, a bond may develop.
3)Repressed emotion is transmitted in another way. Would be pastors spend years in training repressing their sexual cravings. This feelings come out in another form. Many engage in online pornography, some masturbate. Few Catholic priests sexually harras young boys and others are involved in extra marital affair.
4)Pastoral training did not offer proper training on how to prevent sexual immorality: Some people are ordained pastors after few months training with no discussion on sex . The work involves constant dealing with members of opposite sex. Some are unable to detect the early signs a lady gives when she is falling in love with the pastor and how to abort such session instantly.
5)Clergy are not God : That one is a pastor does not mean that he has supernatural powers capable of doing the impossible. They are human and are subject to mistakes. What differentiate then from the average member is an interest in church leadership. Pastors are picked from a sex- obsessed population. An individual may have a high sexual urge and still be interested in church leadership. Pastors are not eunuchs.
6)Level of Maturity. A pastor may be sound in interpreting scriptures yet deficient in other aspect of life. Resistance to sexual temptation involves period of training until one gets matured in it .
7)Members are corrupt . The act is not done alone. It involves an accomplice. immoral pastors are growing because immoral members are growing. Church members want quick route to salvation. She wants immediate forgiveness to her sins which she does not want to stop . Some corrupt pastor suggest more donation from her stolen funds Other sexually corrupt pastors suggest a night of sexual purification to insert holy sperm into her body . Some ladies intentionally lead the men astray. It reveals the level of holiness of the church.
8)Childhood Trauma . Adults are grown up children . Some of them were abused as children They still carry the experience within and transfer it to other children.
This write-up does not intend to exonorate the pastors. Rather,it aims at urging church to look into the aspect of pastoral training very serious. Sex education ought to be added to training curriculum Experienced pastors should share their temptation stories and how they conquered it. Counsellors and therapist ought to be active participant in the training. Pastors are vulnerable like the average member and deserve double protection.
I am pissed off. Can you Imagine a friend just ripped me off? He sold a counterfeit product for the price twice the authentic one. I usually buy the product myself. This time around, I got no time to go to the market to identify the authentic one so I asked him to deliver one for me since he is a dealer. The price he called was expensive. Yet I decided to go ahead with the transaction hoping to get a super- original grade. Lo and behold, he delivered a substandard product. What annoyed me most was he had the courage to look me in the eye and lie to me that they were authentic. He felt I was a novice that would easily fall for his deceit.
I recounted this experience to a mutual friend. He did not look surprised .
This is a dog eat dog world .There is no friend in buisness . “Treat your friends the same way you would treat a stranger” is one unwritten law of buisness.
These words hurt me more. As much as I felt angry, I could tell it was true. My attention drifted to the entire economic system.we live in a world that priorities loosing a dear friend to loosing a penny. Competition is favored over cooperation in this masculine led society. To get up, one must step on the toes of others .To win, others must loose . To retain the job of a marketer, one must make a certain number of sales before a given deadline . It does not matter how you do it .- manipulate clients, sleep with them etc The end justifies the mean. The system promote cheating . Those who can break their values climb faster. The compassionate ones loose out.
The society encourages us to value money over our honor. The trader who cheats,misleads and overcharges and then seek to square himself with conscience by saying” lying is absolutely necessary for buisness is worshipped. The man who makes promises he cannot keep to get position is elevated .Many buisness- minded individuals ventured into sanitizer production during this covid 19 period. Some sold adulterated version to increase profit.
The pressure can turn a saint into a crook.Can we have a society where money is not considered as priority. A society that values human virtues of honestly, kindness, fairness, forgiveness? A society where buisness is not done primarily for reward or money. Service is rendered because one enjoys the service first and money is a representative of the economic value of the service rendered. I have seen people advertise and sell goods they do not use. The motivation is to sell anything to make money without concern for the process of production or the effectiveness of product. . It begins with you and I.