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emotion family nigeria sex

Mismatched desire

The words we never spoke

Broke us apart

Grudges burning slowly

For several years

How long shall we continue

To be in a passionless union

Physically present

Emotionally absent

Strangers sharing one roof

Pretending all is well

It is high time we begin to think

Of going our saperate ways

As painless as possible

I truely love you

But I can no longer  live with you

I have forgiven you

But I cannot forget the things you did

Replayed in my head each time I see you

One single act

Makes me not to trust you completely

But I cannot forget that

I see you trying to be perfect

I see how hard you try

To make me happy

You deviate from your true self

In other to please me

You will eventually get tired

Until you finally resent me

But our frequency differ

You want it twice a day

I want it monthly

The times I turned you down

I pushed you off me

Into the waiting arms of another.

I made you cheat on me

And then hate you for it

Each time I try to please you

You are happy

While I am hurt

You suggested an open relationship

But I want you all to myself

We are not compatible

It was a mistake from the beginning

Loyalty is a curse

We are better off going our saperate ways

Goodbye my Lover

I hope you meet your match

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emotion family nigeria relationship women

The beauty of Divorce

You tried all you could to make the relationship work. Family members, friend a pastors intervened. You sought the wise counsel of experts. Yet, the yelling and fighting doubled. The relationship is irredeemable. You throw in the towel. A part of you feel bad for letting go.

When two individuals are unity, their combined energy is greater than the sum of the individual energy. It would take a greater force to pull this bond apart. The greater the bond that exist between the two, the greater the destructive energy released. The split of an atom causes great explosion. This knowledge is used in nuclear science to create bombs.

In any human relationship that involves a break up be it husband- wife, employee- employer, business partners etc,emotions are released. In most cases, such separation causes hatred among the individual. This leads to litigation. Courts cannot heal the emotional wounds of departing members. Court creates a winner and a looser. It increases the wound of one. No two persons go to court and remain friends. The dissolution of marriage leads to a great deal of anger and resentment towards the significant order.

The societal stigma towards divorced persons is not helping matters. Divorce is viewed with the same negative lens we used to see failure. Failure is perceived as terrible while success is celebrated. This notion is distorted. A wise man once said that failure teaches us while success tests us. we learn more from our mistakes. It is vital to pay attention to our teachers to enable us to pass the examination life throw at us. To view every failure as a lesson learnt enable us to begin to change our perspective of divorce.

We can begin to examine the previous relationship from the position of an observer like one acting in a script. This will enable us to discover mistakes without emotional bias. You may have noticed that your majority of the disagreement was based on money. You were a spender while your partner was a saver. Furthermore, you accuse himm of being too frugal while he insulted you for being extravagant. Perhaps, you enjoyed the social gathering and resented him for not taking you out while your spouse would rather stay at home with his laptop. He wants to watch soccer while you preferred a live TV show. You know nothing about his automobile spare part business. He has no clue about the trending design in the fashion industry needed for your boutique. Both of you are from two different planets. You realized that your values differ. You wondered how you never saw these discrepancies earlier.

Now you no longer blame him completely. You saw the signs earlier but chose to ignore it. You had a role to play. Yo no longer play he victim card.Next time, you will take these little details into consideration. You will discuss them with him before committing. Now,you are wiser. You will no longer attract a partner with similar attribute. wise enough not to attract a similar partner.

Detached examination helps us to reorganize our top priorities in human relations. You thank your ex for the invaluable lessons he has taught you. The relationship is over for good. You have to shut the door, so the universe can usher in a better partner. The failed relationship prepares you to be more matured in subsequent ones.

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nigeria

WONDERFUL PARTNER, TERRIBLE FAMILY

Typically a genuine life story I would like to share in a different way.

Your partner is goal oriented and emotionally stable. He neither smokes nor drinks and he speaks slowly picking his words carefully in attempt not to use a hurtful word. Each time he struggles to talk about his family.  He was quick to change the subject like they never existed. I  could sense he is not comfortable whenever I insisted on paying them a visit.

Should you break up with your partner because of their toxic family

Finally, he agrees to take you home. You are nervous whether they will like you amour not. His own anxiety was thrice yours. Looking forward for the slightest reason to cancel the journey. He sees you were insisting on going. Finally,you arrive the place and noticed five persons packed in a little cubicle. You perceived an awful smell from the small apartment. His younger brother greeted you holding a wrap of wrapped weed in his hand. That should have been a signal but you overlooked it.

Then you noticed their tone in speaking. The father yelling at the mum “Go bring an extra cup”. He gets angry over little or nothing and has no regard for his wife in public. You ask how your partner was as a child, each person used the opportunity to list their little achievement. They were competing for attention
To say that I was shocked was an understatement. Your partner could see the shock in your eyes and tried to remedy the situation only to get a thunderous.

His mum presented a keg of local alcoholic wine but he gently told her that I do not drink. She fumed with dissapintment like one whose marriage proposal was rejected.
“Can’t you do something right for once’?
This time, it was his mum yelling at him for using a fork to eat the EBA. She was trying to project her anger somewhere else.The household find it difficult to cope with rejection.
He gently dropped the cutlery and used his hands in an attempt not to worsen an already terrible day.

After what looks like hours, you finally take your leave earlier than imagined.
You are glad you finally left. You are curious how your partner manages to turn out different from his family members. How he grew up in a difficult, destructive family to a productive compassionate young man. You love your partner nevertheless buy you know you cannot take his family as your family. You would never like to spend an hour near them again. They would drain your energy. You are willing to proceed with the marriage plans If he promises never to get them involved in your marital life physically or otherwise. Is that practical?