Categories
childhood family feminism life relationship women

Masculine women and Feminine men

When Nollywood actor Pet Edochie fumed at the young men kneeling before a woman, he was backlashed. Pet was comparing happenings in his youthful age against  the youth in this generation. The traditional Igbo man is highly placed in the society. During traditional wedding,the woman kneels down to propose to the man.The one who kneels begs the other for a favor.A typical Igbo man hardly kneels for his fellow man talkless of a woman . He only kneels for the gods who he recognizes as more powerful than he is.

Pet is  not alone. Many men have noticed a decline in the masculinity of men. The Alpha male movement and redpill movement are attempt to correct this imbalance.When did thngs change? When did man begin to loose his ego to stoop so low to kneel before a less powerful being. Was the change sudden or gradual?

Women were seen as irrational and emotional.Men were the rational and strong willed. Men were taught to act like men They had to suppress their emotion close to their heart. Men should never cry in public.  Expression of vulnerability  is a sign of a weak man.  Men are closed minded, rigid and structured. He should not seek fun .Men. Should always be in power, strive for control, compete.They lack empathy necessary for effective communication and connection.

In early days, male children joined their fathers in the river fishing or the forest haunting. Female spent their time with the mothers cooking. Each gender know his role. You hardly see a man in the kitchen or a girl hunting. Men learnt to act like men and women learnt to act like women.Then came the industrial era. Lands meant for farming and hunting was taking over by the government to build factory. The owners of the land were jobless.To offer compensation, the men were integrated as workers in this factory. Their male children were not allowed to follow dad to work.son stays at home with the mum while Dad went to work. Father leaves home as early as eight and comes home by six. He is exhausted, he sleeps to get strength for the next day. Fathers became absent in their son’s life. The role of dad in son life began to reduce while the role of mum in son life began to rise. Mummy passes over her feminine qualities to growing son.

Then came education. Female involvement in  education at an early age especially science and  law improve her reasoning abilities (masculinity) . Female take part in competitive games like the male counterpart. This improves their aggression.These women ended up as heads of organization.They took  decision and gave instructions . These women began to have a thirst of power . Their masculine qualities were awoken.

Girls  who enjoy highly competitive games with a desire to win also increases their aggression (masculinity). We tag such women names like Tomboy. They are ladies with highly developed masculine side and poorly developed feminine side.. Such masculine girls are attracted to  the beta guys. If a man is more masculine in nature,he will be attracted to a very feminine woman who will compliment his energy. Balance men prefer neutral women.. Masculine girls at attracted to a feminine guy or sisi or beta guy . Such guys are few as society teaches guys to wear the Alpha mask. She can only find solace among her fellow feminine women. This is the origin of homosexuality- . Heterosexual are no different from homosexual as both seek balance .

Society has widened this energy balance over the years. Civilisation is bring closing the gap. Homosexual are closer to achieving balance compared to heterosexual. Yet, Homosexuals feel guilty for not complying with society expectation. . There is nothing wrong with homosexuality, for it IS what is. However, we need to bear in mind that society at this time is traumatized due to so many centurie conditioned to comply with that. DO we want to fit in? Until WHEN? We need to learn to Love who we are, while allowing others to be what they want to be. Acceptance is the way of Life.

We should understand that each individual hold masculine and feminine qualities within us. When both qualities are not well alligned, the person is out of balance. The traditional gender roles over the years has created highly masculine males on one hand and highly feminine female on the other side.  we are drawn to certain individual that help us correct these imbalance. These highly masculine males become attracted to highly feminine female.

Categories
africa gender life nigeria relationship religion women

A Christian dad and son conversation on homosexuality

Son: what does the Bible teach about homosexuality and masturbation.

Dad: I do not know and I do not care to know

Son: But you are a Christian

Dad: yes, A Christian who follows the teaching of Jesus. Christ alone and not the Bible.

Son; But Bible contains Jesus teaching

Dad: true. It also contains the teaching of Paul,the teaching of Moses , the teaching of Elijah and many other teaching. As a Christian, I accept the teaching of Jesus Christ.

Son: Ok, Now what did Jesus teach about masturbation and homosexuality.

Dad: Jesus never mentioned any of them literally but he showed us with illaustration how to treat those whose views are different from ours.

Child: How?

Dad: He never condemned the adultrous woman, he visited tax collectors, he dined with sinners. He showered them with love.

Son : does that mean they won’t go to hell?

Dad: would you derive Joy in Watching your loved one in hell?

Son: No I won’t

Dad: good.

Dad: sex is a way of expressing Love. There are different stages of love. The first is love directed to oneself. A child grows up loving himself.Using sexual analogy, the child derives Joy playing with his body, his genital. Jesus said Love thyself.

Son : hmm

Dad: The second is Love of similar specie.The child begins to extend the love to those of closest to him+ family, friend,tribe etc. A boy plays with a boy.A girl plays with a girl. Using sexual analogy, this is homosexual. Christ preached Love your neighbor.

Son : I see

Dad: The third stage of love is where one loves those different from oneself .Jesus said Love your enemy.your enemy is your opponent, opposite,one with a different view. Sexually, one is attracted to the gender different from him.A boy is attracted to a girl and vice-versa.

Son :

Dad: One who hates masturbators and homosexuals and love heterosexual is no different from one who loves others over himself and his peers.Such person is in a third stage of love.

Son : which is the best.

Dad: All of the above.The fourth type. The pansexual. The attraction to all . Self, male, and female. It is universal love. Agape love. Love without condition.

Categories
africa childhood gender relationship women

“you look sexy”” is an insult

YOU LOOK SEXY” IS AN INSULT
Ladies,do you always feel happy when people see
the way you dress and say you look sexy?
“You look sexy” is not a greeting, it is not a
compliment, it is an insult.
They are telling you, you are good for sex only,
they are telling you you have something good
under your skirt, but nothing tangible under your
Cap.
They are saying you are a bed professional,
bedroom expert and nothing more.
They are saying your greatest asset is under your
pant, what an insult, never allow anybody to tell
you, you look sexy again, because that simply
means they are saying you are boys toy and guys
pleasure tool, sex symbol and not a great
personalty, not somebody to be respected.
They are simply saying you are closer to been a
prostitute than to been a Virtuous, quality and
exceptional woman. So always dress to look pretty
and beautiful, don’t dress to look sexy.
Queens and FIRST LADIES don’t dress to look
Sexy, they always dress to look beautiful, adorable
and pretty.
But BED LADIES will dress otherwise because like
whores their value and biggest asset is in bed.
Always remember that good product are always
well covered, branded and well packed, but
worthless product are always exposed for all dick
and harry to see, make yourself valuable, cover up
girl, let your daughter be proud of you in future,
stop been object of Lust and passion.
So when you are dressing tomorrow morning ask
yourself, am I dressing like a FIRST LADY or like
BED LADY, let your dressing answer for you

Categories
family gender law relationship women

Never touch a woman for inappropriate dressing

group violence by men against women based on the fickle notion of fashion morality is flat out irrational. That is the type of irrational conjecture that will drive our generation back a few decades. Nothing a woman can wear will be deemed appropriate by all men. And it honestly should not matter what men’s opinion on their clothing is. Women are not property; they are other human beings. This is not a new debate. It ended eons ago

Don’t get me wrong, you’re allowed to be uncomfortable about how someone else chooses (or doesn’t choose but is inclined) to live their lives. You’re just not allowed to force a person to change to ease your discomfort.
It’s a fairly simple concept: to each his/her own. Men can wear whatever they want. Women can too. Everything people can or can’t wear is accommodated for in the law of the nation or the dress code of an establishment, not in the hearts of men who think it justifiable to strip somebody’s daughter just to shame her.

The same men who would strip a woman for wearing the wrong clothes, leave a man alone for the same. Even those guys who really want to make sure their hours at the gym show through their baby sized t-shirts or guys whose jeans are so skinny that if they farted, they’d dislocate an ankle and a kneecap, so they sag for safety, showcasing shit stricken neon yellow boxers. Those guys never get beaten up and stripped either.

So, if men’s fashion is not being brought to tow, why shouldn’t my sister or your sister be entitled to wear whatever she’s wearing?
Yes, we all have the right to an opinion, but we don’t have the right to enforce an opinion in barbaric fashion. If opinions could be enforced with such vigour, I’d have blown up Parliament years ago for being a blatant waste of taxpayers money. And I think that would’ve gotten us further than stripping women randomly on the street and brutalising their liberties.

And if what she is wearing is slightly shocking or appalling to me then I reserve the right to comment and have an opinion. But the right to action is hers and the laws’. Nobody tried to put Lady Gaga on a grill because she wore a meat suit, so nobody should try to act on the length of a skirt or a dress. Even though some of you guys are acting on even less, sometimes nothing, which is just indicative of failing at humanity.

Diasporadical

Categories
family gender relationship religion women

romantic stories of the bible

The most romantic stories in the Bible
Khaya Dlanga
Mon 04 Apr 2011

The first story is about Jacob. Now Jacob, son of Isaac wanted to get married. So he went to his uncle’s crib, who had two daughters. One hot. The other not so much. The oldest daughter was not so hot because the Bible says, “Leah had weak eyes”. I suspect she was squint. The younger daughter’s name was Rachel and she was damn hot too. How do I know? “For the Bible tells me so” (sorry, couldn’t resist) the Bible tells us that “Rachel had a lovely figure” mind you, this was before the invention of bikinis. The Bible continues about Rachel “and was beautiful”. And you guys thought the Bible wasn’t shallow sometimes?

Jacob wanted hot miss thang, Rachel. Duh, obviously. He was in love with her. Jacob was broke and had nothing, he offered to work for his uncle for seven years in order to afford to marry Her Royal Hotness, Rachel. Laban,

Rachel’s dad agreed to this arrangement. Jacob worked for a whole seven years to get her. As the Bible puts it “but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her”. Ahhh, so romantic.

Then the seven years came to pass and he said to Laban, “Malume, give me my wife”. OK, now brace yourself for the next few sentences. “My time is completed and I want to make love to her.” This guy! Jacob basically said to his fiancée’s dad: “I wanna shag your daughter dude. It’s been a while.” Can you imagine telling your future father-in-law that you want to “make love” to his daughter? The audacity of this man. In fact, give this man a Bell’s!

The wedding happened. She was covered, brought to him in the night. They shagged and as we would say in the black custom to indicate that a lot of shagging happened: “They shagged and shagged, and shagged and shagged and shagged.” So when morning came, there was Leah! He’d been doing the dirty with her all along.

Obviously Jacob is pissed off now. He worked seven years, a whole seven years to marry the hot one, now he gets the not-so-hot-one. His uncle, the deceitful conniving bastard says: “Sorrynyana. But according to our custom, the older daughter has to get married first.” Probably said inGeneration’straditionalist voice —

Khaphela. Then Uncle Laban also gave him the hot daughter, Rachel, but he had to work another seven years for her too.
The second story is a short one. It’s the story of the romantic Elkanah, prophet Samuel’s dad. Elkanah had two wives, this dude had nothing on Jacob Zuma. Hannah and Peninnah. Peninnah had children by the truck-load or should we say camel-load?

Hannah on other hand hadnada. He’d go to the temple with his wives every year. This dude loved Hannah even though she had no kids. The wife with the kids would be rather bitchy to her for she had no kids. So she’d always be crying and would not eat. Elkanah would always say to her: “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you more than 10 sons?”

I think the “don’t I mean more to you than 10 sons” bit is the most romantic thing I’ve read in the Bible. For what he is saying is this, I don’t love you for a reason. The only reason I love you is because I love you. You don’t have to do anything. All you have to do is be you. That is all. It’s almost a prophetic image of Christ who loves us despite ourselves. We don’t have to do anything for him to love us. He loves justnje.

Categories
family gender nigeria relationship women

identifying potential rapist by their words

A man is a rape-supporter if…

*.He has ever sexually engaged with any woman while she was underage, drunk, high, physically restrained, unconscious, or subjected to psychological, physical, economic, or emotional coercion.

*.He has blamed a woman for “putting herself in a situation” where she “could be” attacked.

*.
*.He threatens to patronise prostitutes when patner says no to his sex appeal defends .

Defends men accused for rape in court even with glaring evidence

*.He watches pornography in which women are depicted.
*.He watches any pornography in which sexual acts are depicted as a struggle for power or domination, regardless of whether women are present.

*.He characterizes the self-sexualizing behavior of some women, such as wearing make-up or high heels, as evidence of women’s desire to “get” a man.

*.He tells or laughs at jokes involving women being attacked, sexually “hoodwinked,” or sexually harassed.

*.He expresses enjoyment of movies/musicals/TV shows/plays in which women are sexually demeaned or presented as sexual objects

*.He mocks women who complain about sexual attacks, sexual harassment, street cat-calls, media depictions of women, or other forms of sexual objectification.

For every penny he gives you, he indirectly expects girl to pay back in kind

*.He states or implies that women who do not want to have sex with men are “inhibited,” “prudes,” “stuck-up,” “man-haters,” or psychologically ill.

*.He argues that certain male behaviors towards women are “cultural” and therefore not legitimate subjects of feminist attention.

*.He ever subordinates the interests of women in a given population to the interests of the men in that population, or proceeds in discussions as if the interests of the women are the same as the interests of the men.

*.He promotes religious or philosophical views in which a woman’s physical/psychological/emotional/sexual well-being is subordinated to a man’s.

*.He describes female anatomy in terms of penetration, or uses terms referencing the supposed “emptiness” of female anatomy when describing women.e.g calling girls holes.

*.He defends the sexualization or sexual abuse of minor females on the grounds of “consent” or “willingness.”

*.He promotes the idea that women as a class are happier or more fulfilled if they have man, or that they “should” have man.

*.He argues that people (or just “men”) have sexual “needs.”

*.He discusses the “types” of women he finds sexually appealing and/or attempts to demean women by telling them he does not find them sexually appealing.

*.He defends these actions by saying that some women also engage in rape.

Are you guilty of any of these?

Categories
childhood family gender nigeria relationship women

i dont want obedient children

If you heard someone described as obedient, what thoughts does it bring to mind? Someone with no mind of their own, who will do what you tell them, who won’t stand up for themselves. Oh no, that’s not what I’m aiming for, and so I do not want ‘obedient’ children.

Children used to be expected to be ‘seen but not heard’, to never answer back, to do as their parents say for no other reason than ‘because I said so!’ Thankfully that has changed a bit, but it does seem to me that a lot of peoplearestill striving for obedience from their children. Or at least that a lot of people expect you to be. The mother in the shopping centre with a screaming child can expect glares and ‘control your child’ comments from passersby. As if children aren’t their own person but more like possessions to be controlled.

That your parenting should be judged on how well your children behave, how quiet they are, how obedient they appear. That somehow the tighter grip you have on them, the more you are able to influence them and they will turn into a respectable adult.

And so ‘talking back’ is ok with me (as long as it’s not rudely).
Asking me why they can’t do something is ok with me.
Trying to negotiate with me is ok.
Disagreeing with me is ok.
Big feelings are ok with me, and not something to be frustrated about.
By reacting this way I am teaching them that no matter if someone is bigger, older, or more powerful, it’s ok to question or stand up for what you think is right. That you can also do this in a polite and respectful way. That often things still don’t go your way and how to deal with that. If instead I chose to enforce behaviour with punishment, never let them question me, or didn’t help them with their big emotions, then how would they learn to deal with these situations in the future? How would that effect our relationship? Would they feel valued, respected, and important? Or would they feel powerless?

I don’t want my children to grow up to be ‘obedient’ adults, who give in to peer pressure, who are afraid to voice their opinion. Nor do I want them to grow up thinking that the way we interact with people younger than us is by coercion and control. Children are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. They can handle simple age appropriate explanations for things. They deserve reasons for our actions. I doubt I would be happy to do something I didn’t want to do if the only reason I was given was ‘because I said so’. I can extend the same courtesy to my children

sarah

Categories
childhood family gender nigeria relationship women

never say “rape” in presence of a lady

Words are powerful. Words evoke emotion. They take you to a time or place, they jog your memory, they bring back sights, smells, tastes. What if a word that brought back a bad memory, a traumatic experience, was tossed around casually? What if nearly everywhere you went, you heard this word? And you just couldn’t escape it

230 high school girls in Nigeria were kidnapped by Boko Haram. Depending on what you read, some escaped, some were forcefully married, some were taken across the border, and some … well … we don’t know what happened to them. What is STILL happening to them. And their families are driving themselves crazy thinking about it, wondering about it, imagining what is being done to these girls.

. So it’s not just their bodies being broken. Their minds are being broken too. In addition to what is being done to them, they are questioning where their God is, where their government is, why they ever bothered going to school.

You see, rape ISN’T just a word. It’s a weapon. And every time someone uses it lightly, it evokes the entire experience. When a woman is walking in a wide street in broad daylight, and a man cat-calls her, and she ignores him, and he causally says how he will rape her, it isn’t just a word. It’s a memory of the torture she went through. And it’s enough to take her out of that bright street and into the hell that was her rape. She may be standing there safe and sound, but in her mind, she’s back in the worst place and time of her life.

Diasporadical

Categories
education family gender relationship women

4 Reasons Why Its Better To Marry A Female Teacher

4 Reasons Why Its Better To Marry A Female Teacher

of all professions,teachers make better wife.my reasons are:

Teachers arebetter communicators communication is an essential tip for any relationship. Teachers communicate well with students,fellow teachers and parents.their ability to teach students same thing in many ways makes them able to communicate with different persons

THE KIDS ACADEMICS IS ASSURED………………HAVE you noticed that teachers children do well academically.?this is because teachers extend their job to the home.she asks them to home work and guides them in solving it.your kids can attend same school with their mum

TEACHERS ARE PATIENT……………………………….Agood teacher spendslonger time teaching one topic to slow learners are patient.such person ccan persevere with husband when going get tough.,………she would be able to withstand inlaw insults…

pUBLIC SPEAKING..

Every husband is proud when his wife comes out to adress the public with good charisma,body language and oratory skills

are you currently dating a teacher? Now grab her tight

Categories
gender women

women hatred for each other

the pride of a woman lies on her beauty while that of a man lies on his wealth. However,men are happy when their fellow men achieve. They tend to hang out with wealthy men in order to benefit from their wealth. The same cant be said of ladies.cute women tend to hate more beautiful ladies.

Women tend to focus on other persons and not themselves.this is why they tend to gossip more.they easily notice a girl who excells in an area they lack.when they see a girl having the looks they crave for, they tend to be jelous.

Girls lov to take center of action.if a woman walks in a room of men.she likes all eyes to admire her. All those flattering,extra cash etc from male colleagues .when a more beautiful lady enters the scene, it becomes obvious she has a challenger. She cant compete with someone more endowned so she begins to hate.

If the beautiful lady is closer to her by family. There is a rule. The beautiful girl must never meet your guy else he starts chasing her and leaves you.girls take relationship too seriously.

Such jelousy leads to insecurity. They know the girl is more endowned than they are and is capable of winning them in beauty contest.

Ladies know the feminine power and they know beautiful ladies naturally use it on men to get favours. Smart cute ladies who use their brains hate seeing beautiful ladies esp with sleeveless and short skirts. They hate it when some beautiful lady use their beauty to degrade womanhood.