Categories
family

Most Fathers Are Just Husbands

Are you proud of your father?

Odimegwu Onwumere

By Odimegwu Onwumere

Not all husbands are fathers. That a man gave birth to a child legitimately or illegitimately does not make him a father. The man could be awesome, he could have all the aspects that are associated with men, but he is not a father; he could acquire all the property and money in the world, yet he is not a father.

wickedfather

As a child, you wouldn’t understand your father better till you are of the age of wisdom and reasoning. At that toddler’s age all you do is look up to your father, who commands you and gives you assignments to do, but without any sense of direction of where he wants you to be in life.

Many homes are like this! He allows you to just grow-up and succeed the way your peers are succeeding or do things the way of your peers. Whether good or…

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Categories
africa family law politics

Kenyan President Signs Polygamy Law

Kenya legalises polygamy law

Categories
family

no money ,no marriage

Mariage issues marriage issues.just heard of three colleagues whose marriage is currently hanging on the fence. Their marriage is less than three years old.the problem all arise from one root-money.

Yes, money. Either one patner is broke or two are broke. Next to unfaithfulness, money is second reason mariage break up.
One message for guys and ladies,NO MONEY-NO MARRIAGE.
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if you cant take care of your self,you have no reason getting married.if you havent own or maintained a car,dont bother getting married.yes,it doesnt matter if your lover is funny,humble,smart etc,iif he or you are poor, date him,dont marry him. SHe should be able to maintain herself.you should maintain yourself too.

Love is not the only factor to be considered in marriage, consider your kids too.do you want the poverty strucken guy to be the father of your child?do you want your kids to undergo a worse suffering that you both did? Remember, kids is the best way to drain your finance.having kids makes a poor guy poorer.

It doesnt matter if you are 40 or not, it doesnt matter if your mates are already grand fathers,dont make that mistake.you and your patner must be self reliant.

Most of us end up settling for a “less costly” patner. This is good but guys who do this are likely to cheat on you when life improves.

Marriage isnt meant for the poor

Categories
family

ways we unknowingly disrespect our patner

Respect does not really mean greeting ur patner every morning.
Most times we show disrespect for our patner unknowingly.there are many ways our action sends a signal that we dont respect our patner.

.Telling your patner he is not good is enough disrespect. Dont tell her she is a terrible cook.dont tell him he is a bad father and husband.instead,suggest ways of improvement. ” may be you should add more salt nexttime” is better than “the food is tasteless.the former shows you appreciate her effort,the latter shows you dont.

Is your patner an illiterate,who can neither speak english or write. Dont make him feel bad about it.dont speak vocabulary when speaking with him.bring him to your level .speak pidgin or his native language.

Bossing your patner reduces the relationship from husband-wife to a master-servant relationship.dont expect your patner to worship you..it doesnt matter if you are the breadwinner,dont show him/her you are superior .

Show that you care.Give attention.non challant attitude towards his/her affairs. Dont be to busy that you forget about him/her.

Never make negative remark about her publicly. No matter what he/she does,it is your primary duty to defend her.try covering her up.opposing her in front of kids / outsiders reduces her self confidence and self respect.never shout or slap her infront of kids or outsiders.

No person is perfect.dont expect perfection from your patner.respect comes from ignore his/her weakness and focus on strenght.

Categories
family gender

women and self-deceit

I came across this story from a blog by adaora uduchukwu

and I can absolutely say this is so relatable, must young people/teenagers are in situations like this or going through something similar but are too blind to accept the truth. Heck, even I have been in this situation once or shhhhh be I promised myself to always tell the truth to that one person who needs to hear it from me and that person is ME but first I want to apologize for being Mia on you all and I must say it wasn’t intentional but that’s story for another day ☺️

Here’s the story I want you all to read, it was written by radio presenter Toolz. Enjoy

We met during my final year of university; he had just moved from Houston and didn’t know a lot of people in London, and after a few random conversations about course work, he asked me out. Our first date was amazing, and after about a month of seeing each other a few times a week, I was almost certain he was ‘the one’.

After dancing around the issue for a week or two, I was finally brave enough to bring up the ‘where are we’ issue. His exact words were ‘I really like you Tolu, but I’m not looking for a relationship right now’. I had to take a moment to mentally pick up the fragments of my broken heart, then I smiled at him and said ‘No worries, it’s ok’
I avoided him for about 2 weeks as I licked my wounds and tried to regain my pride. Towards the end of the 2nd week I had miraculously convinced myself that he was only saying he didn’t want a relationship because he didn’t know how much of a fantastic woman I was. So I became his ‘standby friend’ – I was going to be on standby till he realized he actually wanted a relationship – with me!
I would hang out with him at every opportunity, listen to all his ideas with undivided attention, fret over him if he sneezed, and I would even go to his house to cook for him…he definitely had my mumu-button.

For almost a year I waited and played my standby role very well. I told myself plenty of lies, ‘He really does care about me, he wouldn’t be hanging out with me if he didn’t’; ‘He’s dealing with a few personal issues, so I just need to be patient and he’ll wake up one day and realize I’m the one’. Yes, I was subconsciously defrauding myself.

He left London for a few months on an internship, and I missed him badly. My mobile phone bill was ridiculous because I would call him regularly for a ‘friendly chat’, he would call me too, but I was definitely doing more of the calling. I soon realized that he wasn’t missing me the way I missed him, so I let things chill for a bit. When he returned to London, I was over the moon!
My birthday was in 2 weeks, and I decided to have a little get-together. I also thought that this would be a fantastic opportunity for him to see what he was missing. The plan was to get super-dolled up and flaunt my fabulousity in front of him, and of course he would call me the next day and say ‘Tolu I missed you, I’ve been such a fool not to realize how incredible you are – please be mine’ (Yimu right?).

On the day of my party – I had two sexy outfits that were picked to make him drool. I was nervous, anxious and hopeful.
He finally arrived!
I opened the door, and he looked at me and said ‘You look amazing’. I was positively beaming as he hugged me. As I ushered him into the living room, he stopped and said ‘I hope you don’t mind, I brought my…..girlfriend, she’s just getting something from the car’.
If he had slapped me I wouldn’t have been more surprised!

What had just happened? The guy I had been on standby for had boarded another flight!

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Categories
childhood family

my perfect role model

Many years ago, my dad called me one night when every one was asleeo and gave me an assignment. He said

“go get a role model, outline seven qualities of that person you intend to emulate. He/she must be perfect without major stain and fanous for a good act”

i nodded and went back to bed.i had expected a mathematical sum or an errand. I thought and thought and thought.

I mentioned Michael Jackson to my dad, he reminded me that he was jailed . I mentioned Akon.dad askeed ” you mean the ex-convict?.

I left music and tried politics. Babaginda,george Bush all had murdet stain on them.

I stoped thinking. No person was blamish. .
I took my burden to school library.i saw a book covered with dust. I cleaned it . The front cover was written ” the only sinless man”. I smilled and gave a sign of relief. I quickly opened the book and saw the name JESUS.

i screamed loud . How come i never thought of this.was i so foolish all along searching without consulting the BIBLE.. JESUS was a perfect role model. The only one without stain.

I went home that day and headed straight to my fathers room to inform my dad of my decision.i noticed the smile on his face as he noded his head and drew me to him self.” GOOD BOY,NOW EMULATE JESUS.