Typically a genuine life story I would like to share in a different way.
Your partner is goal oriented and emotionally stable. He neither smokes nor drinks and he speaks slowly picking his words carefully in attempt not to use a hurtful word. Each time he struggles to talk about his family. He was quick to change the subject like they never existed. I could sense he is not comfortable whenever I insisted on paying them a visit.
Finally, he agrees to take you home. You are nervous whether they will like you amour not. His own anxiety was thrice yours. Looking forward for the slightest reason to cancel the journey. He sees you were insisting on going. Finally,you arrive the place and noticed five persons packed in a little cubicle. You perceived an awful smell from the small apartment. His younger brother greeted you holding a wrap of wrapped weed in his hand. That should have been a signal but you overlooked it.
Then you noticed their tone in speaking. The father yelling at the mum “Go bring an extra cup”. He gets angry over little or nothing and has no regard for his wife in public. You ask how your partner was as a child, each person used the opportunity to list their little achievement. They were competing for attention
To say that I was shocked was an understatement. Your partner could see the shock in your eyes and tried to remedy the situation only to get a thunderous.
His mum presented a keg of local alcoholic wine but he gently told her that I do not drink. She fumed with dissapintment like one whose marriage proposal was rejected.
“Can’t you do something right for once’?
This time, it was his mum yelling at him for using a fork to eat the EBA. She was trying to project her anger somewhere else.The household find it difficult to cope with rejection.
He gently dropped the cutlery and used his hands in an attempt not to worsen an already terrible day.
After what looks like hours, you finally take your leave earlier than imagined.
You are glad you finally left. You are curious how your partner manages to turn out different from his family members. How he grew up in a difficult, destructive family to a productive compassionate young man. You love your partner nevertheless buy you know you cannot take his family as your family. You would never like to spend an hour near them again. They would drain your energy. You are willing to proceed with the marriage plans If he promises never to get them involved in your marital life physically or otherwise. Is that practical?