Religious Journey


Whenever we hear the word journey, our natural instinct assume it to be a physical movement from one place to another. My own journey was more mental than physical. It involved a gradual shift in my belief.

I grew up in a strong Catholic family. I attended cathceism and the block rosary and accepted whatever was fed into my ears . One teaching that kept troubling my heart was the story of Abraham obeying Gods’ directive to kill his son. I left the church a sadder person . I wondered If my dad would kill me If he were instructed to do so. I could not muster the courage to do ask him. I feared him more than a mouse feared a cat.I was convinced he would. I asked my mom .She avoided the question the first tine. I could sence the discomfort it caused her the second time.I learnt not to raise the question again

Things began to change the moment I began to read the Bible. I discovered more ethical issues. God servant instructing wild animals to devor children for mocking his bald head. I remembered my youngest brother had earlier mocked my granddad for having wrinkled face. My grand dad laughed at the boy . If he could wave such aside without getting angry,why would a prophet of God kill children for such? While I was battling with the best way to make sence of this? The story of God killing the man who tried to save the ark of the covenant disturbed my spirit. By now, you must have guessed that I have a phobia for violence and death.

The numerous death stories made me anxious that I stopped reading old testament and concentrated on new testament. The Gospel God was a God of Love, compassion and forgiveness.I found it impossible to reconcile the two. It is either they are two different gods or one God who repented . I prefer to go by my third explanation + MAN PERCEPTION OF GOD CHANGED OVER THE YEARS. The old testament toman perceived God the same way they perceived their elders- one to be obeyed blindly and feared. Jesus saw God as a friend to be loved and treated as equal to oneself . Jesus philosophy seemed to resonate with me.

As I studied further, I realized a variation in the teaching of Paul. Jesus seemed to break down patriarchy. Paul supported patriarchy. Jesus taught faith and works as requirement for salvation. Paul promoted only works. I am saddled with the same task of reconciling the two.

I chose to stick with a mentor. It is easier than for a growing child to combine series of mentors and trying to find a middle line amidst the cobtrafiction. No two individual think exactly in the same way. ..Jesus is the mentor . . His philosophy is more humanistic.

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