What type of relationship are you into?

This is a blog post I culled . Hope you can relate

Dating today is so confusing, in my day if you went out with someone, spent time with them and talked on the phone on a daily basis you were dating. Plain and simple. Not so today.

People can be “talking” which means that they are not talking to or seeing anyone else but they aren’t quite ready to make anything official with a label like boyfriend or girlfriend.

 Talking people have sex, but they are not dating. Wow! Then once you are dating, which means you have a label now, then it is probably Facebook official. Once you are Facebook official that’s it, everyone knows then. You are pretty much off of the market at this point. So don’t say you were talking to someone just because you had a conversation, because that could mean a lot more than you think. W

also have our hooking up people, these people just have sex without any emotional connection. It can be one night stands or people that just have sex whenever they want to.

Which leads us to friends with benefits, these people do care about each other, but not in a romantic way, but trust each other enough to have sex with each other. This is all good till someone gets attached. Wow it was just easier when we dated.

I decided to look further into this dating lingo. There is a lot of it out there. I’ll share my research with you. Well apparently a fluffer is a person that prepares someone to be ready for a relationship, but they don’t actually enter in to a relationship with the person. They are people that someone likes to sleep with but they won’t date them. Then the next person they sleep with they do enter in to a relationship with them. So the fluffer is like a rehearsal for the real thing. This sounds like a terrible situation to be in.

Then there are the recyclers that go back to exes. There can be many reasons for this. I just feel that if we left that person for a reason, why would we go back to a relationship that was not healthy. People with healthy relationships usually don’t end them. This can occur because people like comfort so even if the relationship wasn’t great they have history. They know each other and they won’t have to try to get to know another person. I feel like this might be a little lazy. Being use to someone or comfortable doesn’t seem like the best reason to go back or continue a long term relationship.

The terms can get a little cruel at times.

You have benching for instance which means you don’t really want to date someone but you want them on the bench if you need or want them later. If you are lonely and your first string isn’t available, go to the old reliable bench warmer. They aren’t good enough for a relationship but they are ok for a backup plan. Benching sounds cruel and manipulative. You give them just enough communication to keep them on the string.

In the old days this would have been know as stringing someone along. another term that occurs when you are dating someone that doesn’t introduce you to any of their friends or family. You are their secret boyfriend/girlfriend.

For more, contact Berth on

This brings us to the catfishing. Catfishing is extremely cruel. This is when someone creates a fake social media account and it is used to scam others. They target an individual and have an online relationship with them. Quickly telling them intimate things about their lives and getting information from their target to use to manipulate them. These are cruel people usually out for some type of monetary gain. I, unfortunately, know several people who have been taken advantage of in this manner. They have lost thousands of dollars to people that said they needed help to get back into the country, or out of a lease so that they can come to them and marry them. So cruel to prey on vulnerable people. These are elaborate scams using pictures of soldiers or other individuals that don’t even know that their pictures are being used for such a devious act.

Ghosting has been around for ages, but we just recently gave it that name. Ghosting is when you are friends or lovers one day and the next day you hear nothing. It’s like you don’t exist to them anymore. What makes this happen? It is so confusing to the one being ghosted. They of course wrack their brain thinking about what they could have possibly done to make their friend just forget about them. Is it worth worrying about, or do we just let go and figure we didn’t matter much to them in the first place. Of course, ideally, we would get some closure in the situation, but some people are too chicken shit to give any closure. They hide and ignore. So cruel. These people tend to have a host of shallow, non emotional friendships that are very surface. There is no depth to them. When someone tries to get too close they just go away. They just let people go like they are disposable. They don’t even have the integrity to explain. 

Zombieing is a by product of ghosting, it is when the ghost returns to your life like they were never gone.

Breadcrumbing is another messed up way to treat people. This is when you pursue someone but you really don’t want to be in a committed relationship. They start out sending text making you feel as though they are vested in the relationship, but they run when things start to get a little to serious. This could lead to you being cushioned, which means that your dating partner will start to openly flirt with others so that you will have an idea that a breakup is coming. They are too chicken shit to break up so they play a sick little game to prepare you.

I’m not sure when things got so devious in the dating world. Was it always like this, we just didn’t see it because we didn’t have social media. It makes it scary to enter that dating pool. Wow so many things going against you. What is wrong with the people that perpetrate these behaviors? Are they people that possess personality disorders or are they just opportunist? What is the deal? Are they people that shouldn’t be involved in relationships, because they are emotionally incapable of being a decent human being? I sometimes think they must be tremendously flawed individuals that have been so hurt in their past that they look at people as pawns to be played with whenever it suits them. Well, my friends, these people can’t get away with that behavior forever. If you are flawed get help, if you don’t want to be in a relationship don’t send mixed signals, don’t play with peoples hearts and heads, because karma is a bitch. One day you will love someone and they will not return those feelings, if you’re lucky they won’t play with you long enough to destroy a part of you. If you aren’t that lucky, you will know exactly how you made someone else feel. Dating didn’t use to be so confusing. Be careful out there my friends, but don’t let the flawed make you lose out on someone

contact Berth at

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