when love has a comma

I love him, but I don’t want to marry him because;

, I don’t want to marry yet

I don’t know if I can give him what he want

I but I don’t always like him;

I love him, buthe’s driving me crazy;

I love him, but I don’t know if I can live with him; I

I love him, but I’m uneasy when he acts so selfishly, when his friends seem more important than spending time with me,.

I love him, but he interrupts when I’m still talkinging,

I love him, but I need more time to myself

I love him, but I don’t want to marry him for at least many reasons as I can imagine that I might, someday, feel differently

I am not ready to marry

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Apart from paying your school fees and providing shelter, what other impacts did your father had in your life?

It really is remarkable how deeply fathers impact the lives of their children either negatively or positively. The following stories describe four different kinds of fathers. You may find yourself identifying with one of them

1) One man who struggles with low self esteem recalls that his father paid very little attention to him, and that the attention he got was often hurtful. He sill struggles with feelings of failure and the thought that no matter how hard he tries it just isn’t good enough.
His father on the other hand felt that he was motivating his son with positive criticism “for his own good”, and that his lack of affirmation was to keep his son from becoming proud and arrogant. “All I wanted was to help him be the best that he could be. I know my standards were high, but the world is a tough place and I just wanted him to be prepared”. Although his intentions may have been good, the damage he caused would take years to overcome.

2) A lady tells the story about her father who was overprotective. She had very little freedom to go anywhere. If she asked permission to go somewhere there was always a reason why she couldn’t.

3) Another lady tells the story of how her Dad was a workaholic and that there was a lot of tension and conflict in the home. He may have been there physically but he was emotionally unavailable to her. She felt ignored by him. She longed for his attention and approval. She grew up feeling empty, emotionally abandoned, and struggled with low self esteem.
If you ask her how her relationship with her father impacted her she would tell you that she felt she had to grow up too fast, and that she missed out on her childhood. She leaned at an early age to fend for herself and not to ask for help and that she couldn’t trust people especially men, because they would let her down. As a teen she looked for love in all the wrong places and would dress in a way that got attention from guys, but in the end it wasn’t the kind of attention she needed. The whole trajectory of her life was in the wrong direction and she ended up in a lifestyle of promiscuity and addiction.

4) On a positive note there is a man who describes his dad as being someone he could always talk to. He remembers having all kinds of discussions with him on many different topics. As a kid he felt that he could actually learn from his dad’s mistakes. His dad was not perfect by any means, but at least he was authentic. Even as a kid his dad would ask him for his opinions and his ideas and would listen curiously to what he would have to say. He remembers his dad as having boundaries but also being flexible. If he could come up with a good enough argument for why he should be able to do something he could usually convince his dad, as long as it wasn’t unreasonable. He remembered developing a strategy for picking his battles and not sweating the small stuff.
If you ask how him how his dad impacted his life he would tell you that he learned to think for himself. Despite his shortcomings and failures he felt affirmed and validated as a young man, and that this somehow gave him the “freedom to fail”. He attributes his success in life to this “freedom to fail”.
This man is an confident decision maker and has risen to be a leader in his place of work. At home he loves being a dad. His wife also loves that he can articulate his thoughts and feelings well. Generally speaking he seems to be a happy guy.

Isn’t it interesting how deeply our relationship with our fathers impact us?
A good balance between love and discipline is the key to great parenting. Barbara Coloroso describes four parenting styles based on love and discipline. The “jellyfish” parent scores high on love but low on discipline. The “brick wall” parent is like the father in the first example- high on discipline and low on love. The “permissive” parent, like the father in the third example, is low in love and low in discipline. The “backbone” parent represents the ideal. Like the father in the fourth example this parent scores high on love and high on discipline.

being quiet

I prefer to express myself in other ways. Music, writing, and other art forms my ADD is interested in that day. If you’ve known me a day, you’ll be lucky to get a full sentence out of me. A year, I won’t shut up until you are ready to commit me to an insane asylum, which is probably a good place for me anyways

“Quiet people have the loudest minds.”
Let me think about this for just a second…Okay, I’ve never been one for words. Ever. I often tell me friends and loved ones, “You wouldn’t last five minutes in my head.” This statement is so… scary as it is…true. Quiet as I am, my mind is an uncontrollable machine. Often propelling at a rate that I can’t even keep up with. I’m not saying I’m a genius, or even smart for that matter, but I would say my brain is…unique?…Maybe that’s not the right word, but it doesn’t matter at this point. I have two close friends in my life. I have plenty of friends, don’t pity me, but two CLOSE friends. If you were to be present when all three of us were together, your head would literally explode. This is why I am so quiet around people I don’t know. I’m not really sure if they could handle the frequency at which my brain operates. (I know that sounds like I’m knocking the average person and calling people stupid, but in this case I’m not. Promise I’ll get to that another day. I know there are people out there much smarter than me.) I am simply saying, we are extremely different individuals that think unlike any other people in the world. This is why we are such good friends and the reason I can actually have conversations with them. It’s like we all have the same brain. Although we are three of the quietest individuals in a group of people, alone, or in our minds, we are the loudest.
Stephen Hawking said it the best with his quote, just because someone is quiet, doesn’t mean they don’t have a voice and something to say

meet the angry atheist who killed three muslims

CHAPEL HILL, N.C. –
“A neighbor of a Chapel Hill man charged with fatally shooting three Muslim students Tuesday night described him as “very angry,” and many in their community werefrightenedby him.
“Chapel Hill police officers arrested46-year-old Craig Stephen Hicks on Tuesday on first-degree murder chargesin connection with the deaths of Deah Shaddy Barakat, Yusor Mohammad and Razan Mohammad Abu-Salha.
“The three, who were students at UNC and N.C. State, were shot to death at the Finley Forest Condominiums on Summerwalk Circle in Chapel Hill.

“While Maness said many in their community feared Hicks, a spokesman for Durham Technical Community College described a man who was an “exemplary student.”
“Durham Tech spokesman Carver Weaver said Hicks enrolled in 2012 and was seeking three certificates in paralegal studies. Weaver said he had a nearly 3.9 GPA.
“On social media, Hicks presented a person who felt spurred by religion,describing himself as an ordained atheist minister, while also identifying with anti-theism, a belief that opposes all forms of religion.

“I give your religion as much respect as your religion gives me,” Hicks wrote. “There’s nothing complicated about it, andI have every right to insult a religionthat goes out of its way to insult, to judge and to condemn me as an inadequate human being — which your religion does with self-righteous gusto.”
“He continued, “When it comes to insults, your religion started this, not me. If your religion kept its big mouth shut, so would I. But given that it doesn’t, and giventhe enormous harm that your religion has done in this world, I’d say thatI have not only a right, but a duty, to insult it, as does every rational, thinking person on this planet.
“Because the moment that your religion claims any kind of jurisdiction over my experience, you insult me on a level that you can’t even begin to comprehend. Even if your beliefs had substance, the arrogance of that would be insult enough. But the fact that they have no substance, and are merelya transparent raft of delusions and lies, magnifies the insult enormously.”

http://www.wncn.com

How do you love God but hate your neighbour?

Nice piece

Miss Poetic

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I remember that as a Moslem child, the first thing I learned was ‘decent dressing’ and how I must study my Quran, recite my Tira at the Quranic school and basically learn the techniques of evading my Imam’s long whip. I remember how mum got a lot of long trousers and head-covers for me as a child. Up till my formative years, I was never comfortable with wearing cloths that bare my body. It was a good start (minus that scary Quranic teacher)

I am a Christian now and I really wonder why Christians think they are actually better than people of other faiths.
Are we not all the same?
Born to thread the paths of our parents (and believe in Gods before we had a chance to make our own choices). Holding on to the faith of our parents and believing in their Gods.

Did we ever question them…

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