Expectant mothers in Nigeria prefer religious homes to hospitals

pregnant nigerian mothers prefer religious homes to hospitals

Odimegwu Onwumere

By Odimegwu Onwumere

The indisputable fact that Nigeria is a religious country is even affecting the psyche of many pregnant women. They have a confidence that with their faith in their different religions, the aspect of reception to quality health and family planning are not for them.

This state-of-mind has resulted to a lot of women losing their lives in the cause of child delivery. The time they ought to have used to visit a hospital they instead use it to stay in different prayer homes supplicating, looking for Utopian miracle that most times is elusive.

Most of them have a narrow way-of-thinking, believing that since a woman is pregnant, the next level is to deliver her of the child. But they are most times oblivious that there are wobbly situations of pregnancy related impediments like obstetric fistula, which leads to caesarean section: a situation that occurs after a woman…

View original post 951 more words

4 wrong christian teachingss about sex

Teaching about abstinence and the sanctity of sex is certainly worthwhile and biblical. But the way churches are going about it isn’t working.

Here are four of the biggest lies about sex many of us have picked up from church

1. Any and all physical contact is like a gateway drug to sex.

Once, in secondary school, I attended a big Christian youth conference. One night, one of the pastors addressed the girls: “Girls, we have noticed some very inappropriate touching going on.”

The inappropriate touching she meant turned out to be two high school couples in the youth group holding hands. This woman was deadly serious. “I know it may not seem like a big deal to you,” she said. “But hand-holding leads to other things!”

There are many valid reasons to set boundaries on your physical relationship, but the fear of accidentally having sex shouldn’t be one of them.

Many of us heard similar things from parents, teachers, church leaders and books. In some churches, it was not unusual for people to pledge not only to save sex until marriage, but even to save their first kiss for their wedding day. “Don’t start the engine if you aren’t ready to drive the car” and other similar metaphors warned that any physical contact was a slippery slope straight into the jaws of fornication.
In reality, there are so many conscious decisions you have to make between kissing and having sex. There isn’t a lot of truth to the idea that it might happen “accidentally.” Despite what Hollywood says, clothes do not take themselves off and bodies do not magically and effortlessly fit together.
If you are committed to waiting until you’re married to have sex, there are many valid reasons to set boundaries on your physical relationship, but the fear of accidentally having sex shouldn’t be one of them

2. If you wait until you are married, God will reward you with mind-blowing sex and a magical wedding night.

Saving sex for marriage is not a guarantee that you will have great sex or that sex will be easy. All it guarantees is that the person you fumble through it with will be someone who has already committed to love you forever. And fortunately, when it comes to sex with someone you’re in a lifelong commitment with, practice really can make perfect

3. Boys are visual and sexual, but girls don’t care about sex.

Most women who grew up in the Church cannot even count the times we heard something to this effect: “Boys are very visual and sexual, so even though you aren’t thinking about sex, you need to be careful because you are responsible for not making them stumble.”

Let’s disregard for now how degrading this is toward men and focus on the underlying assumption that boys are sexual and girls aren’t. For years I was told that “girls don’t care about sex

Many girls (yes, even Christian girls) think about sex. Many girls (yes, even Christian girls) like sex. This doesn’t make you a freak. It doesn’t make you unfeminine or unnatural. God created us, both men and women, as sexual beings. Enjoying sex makes you a human being created by God, in the image of God, with the capacity and desire to love—physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and sexually

4. When you get married, you will immediately be able to fully express yourself sexually without guilt or shame.
Many Christians have spent years—from the day they hit puberty until their wedding day—focusing their energy on keeping their sex drives in check. Then, in the space of a few hours, they are expected to stop feeling like their sexuality is something they must carefully control and instead be able to express it freely. And not only that—but express it freely with another person.
Many of us have programmed guilt into ourselves—this is how we keep ourselves in check throughout our dating relationships. And that “red light” feeling we train ourselves to obey doesn’t always go away just because we’ve spoken some vows and signed some papers

by lily dunn
from http://www.relevant magazine

6 Symbols That We Turned Into Words

Arika Okrent

8 Symbols That We Turned Into Words

1. SLASH
A recent article by Anne Curzanexplains how the slash (/) has become a proper word among young people. Her students not only speak the wordslashin places where the symbol would be found in writing, they write it out instead of using the symbol in status updates and text messages. (Does anyone care if my cousin comes visits slash stays with us Friday night?) Even more interesting,slashhas taken on a different meaning than the and/or one implied by the symbol. It can be used to follow up on a comment, or add an afterthought (I really love that hot dog place on Liberty Street. Slash can we go there tomorrow?) To Curzan this development of a new kind of conjunction is “like a rare bird sighting in the world of linguistics: an innovation in the slang of young people embedding itself as a function word in the language.”

2. HEART
The heart probably first made its way into written language with the classic “I ♥ Mom” tattoo, but it became really prominent during the 1970s’ “I Love New York” tourism campaign. The logo for the campaign substituted a red heart for the wordlove, and soon imitators were putting it on mugs and T-shirts proclaiming love for all kinds of things. Then the symbol turned back into a word, not meaning love, but heart. This seems to have begun with the 2004 movieI ♥ Huckabees, which was read out loud as “I Heart Huckabees” (though it was also called “I Love Huckabees”). Now people heart to heart everything. They heart it so much.

3. HASHTAG
The hash (#) symbol took on special importance in Twitter for its use in hashtags, keys that could be used to group or organize tweets. Hashtags soon became a way for people to make meta-comments or asides about what they were saying (“Watching wheel of fortune and eating oreos #livingthedream”). People started introducing hashtags in their speech by saying the word hashtag and then, to bring it full circle, started writing the wordhashtagto introduce meta-comments (“Yay for the selfie screen on vine. Hashtag so excited!”), even when they could have used the much more economical (#)

4. DOT DOT DOT
DOT DOT DOT means so much more than you think!
— It’s A Teen Thing! (@ohteenquotes) May 21, 2012
The ellipsis (…) is a useful way to indicate a pause or, at the end of a sentence, to hint that there is more to say, but you’re not going to say it right now. It’s perfect for coy social media dialogue. Lately those who want to really emphasize the coyness or the awkwardness that an ellipsis can represent, as well as show that they are well aware they are taking advantage of those functions, write it out asdot dot dot(“I need more friends to hang out with because when my like 4 friends are busy I’m just like dot dot dot”). It can even be used along with ellipses (“I’m wearing children’s size 10-2 socks right now….. Yea, dot dot dot….”)

. PERIOD
Not all of our symbols-turned-words come from the modern era of social media. Since the beginning of the 20th century, the period (.) punctuation mark has been used as the adverbperiod, indicating “end of story; nothing more to say about it”: “I have never and will never ride a jet ski, period.”

6. QUOTE UNQUOTE
Quote-unquotehas also been around for a while. At first the words more closely followed the structure of the actual quote symbols, with the quoted (or ironically quoted) words appearing betweenquoteandunquote, but it became a compound, similar toso-called,that no longer follows the rules of actual quotation marks

11 Problems Music Can Solve

Music is a splendid thing. It can cheer you up when you’re sad, make you dance like a fool, and allow you to drown out the world when you need to. But music has its scientific uses, too. The documentary Alive Insidedetails how dementia patients react positively when given iPods filled with their old favorite songs. The music seems to help them “come alive” again. While listening to familiar songs, many of the documentary’s patients can sing along, answer questions about their past, and even carry on brief conversations with others.
“Music imprints itself on the brain deeper than any other human experience,” says neurologist Oliver Sacks, who appears in the film. “Music evokes emotion, and emotion can bring with it memory.”
The documentary follows recent studies showing that music can improve the memories of dementia patients, and even help them develop new memories.
Here, a look at some other things music has been known to “cure”

1. Low Birth Weight
Babies born too early often require extended stays in the hospital to help them gain weight and strength. To help facilitate this process, many hospitals turn to music. A team of Canadian researchers found that playing music to preemies reduced their pain levels and encouraged better feeding habits, which in turn helped with weight-gain. Hospitals use musical instruments to mimic the sounds of a mother’s heartbeat and womb to lull premature babies to sleep. Researchers also say that playing calming Mozart to premature infants significantly reduces the amount of energy they expend, which allows them gain weight.
It “makes you wonder whether neonatal intensive care units should consider music exposure as standard practice for at-risk infants,” says Dr. Nestor Lopez-Duran at child-psych.org

2. Droopy Plants
If music helps babies grow, can it do the same thing for plants? Dorothy Retallack says yes. She wrote a book in 1973 calledThe Sound of Music and Plants, which detailed the effects of musicon plant growth. Retallack played rock music to one group of plants and easy listening music to another, identical group. At the end of the study, the ‘easy listening’ plants were uniform in size, full and green, and were even leaning toward the source of the music. The rock music plants had grown tall, but they were droopy, with faded leaves, and were leaning away from the radio

3. The Damaging Effects of Brain Damage
Of the 1.5 million Americans who sustain brain damage each year, roughly 90,000 of them will be left with a long-term movement or speech disability. As treatment, researchers use musicto stimulate the areas of the brain that control these two functions.
When given a rhythm to walk or dance to, people with neurological damage caused by stroke or Parkinson’s disease can “regain a symmetrical strideand a sense of balance.” The beats in music help serve as a footstep cue for the brain.
Similarly, rhythm and pitch can help patients sing what words they can’t say. A study of autistic children who couldn’t speak found that music therapy helped these children articulate words. Some of these kids said their first words ever as a result of the treatment.
“We are just starting to understand how powerful music can be. We don’t know what the limits are.” says Michael De Georgia, director of the Center for Music and Medicine at Case Western Reserve University’s University Hospitals Case Medical Center in Cleveland.

4. Teen Loitering
Public libraries, malls, and train stations already know this: Teenagers typically don’t like classical music. In fact, they dislike it so much that “it sends them scurrying awaylike frightened mice,” says theLA Times. The theory is that when the brain hears something it dislikes, it suppresses dopamine, “the pleasure chemical.” And as teenagers’ moods fall, they go elsewhere to find something to bring it back up.
So if you want the neighbor kids to get off your lawn, turn up the Tchaikovsky

5. Hearing Loss
OK, maybe music can’t cure hearing loss, but it may help prevent it. A study of 163 adults, 74 of them lifelong musicians, had participants take a series of hearing tests. The lifelong musicians processed sound betterthan non-musicians, with the gap widening with age. “A 70-year-old musician understood speech in a noisy environment as well as a 50-year-old non-musician,” explains Linda Searling at theWashington Post

jessica

i dont want obedient children

If you heard someone described as obedient, what thoughts does it bring to mind? Someone with no mind of their own, who will do what you tell them, who won’t stand up for themselves. Oh no, that’s not what I’m aiming for, and so I do not want ‘obedient’ children.

Children used to be expected to be ‘seen but not heard’, to never answer back, to do as their parents say for no other reason than ‘because I said so!’ Thankfully that has changed a bit, but it does seem to me that a lot of peoplearestill striving for obedience from their children. Or at least that a lot of people expect you to be. The mother in the shopping centre with a screaming child can expect glares and ‘control your child’ comments from passersby. As if children aren’t their own person but more like possessions to be controlled.

That your parenting should be judged on how well your children behave, how quiet they are, how obedient they appear. That somehow the tighter grip you have on them, the more you are able to influence them and they will turn into a respectable adult.

And so ‘talking back’ is ok with me (as long as it’s not rudely).
Asking me why they can’t do something is ok with me.
Trying to negotiate with me is ok.
Disagreeing with me is ok.
Big feelings are ok with me, and not something to be frustrated about.
By reacting this way I am teaching them that no matter if someone is bigger, older, or more powerful, it’s ok to question or stand up for what you think is right. That you can also do this in a polite and respectful way. That often things still don’t go your way and how to deal with that. If instead I chose to enforce behaviour with punishment, never let them question me, or didn’t help them with their big emotions, then how would they learn to deal with these situations in the future? How would that effect our relationship? Would they feel valued, respected, and important? Or would they feel powerless?

I don’t want my children to grow up to be ‘obedient’ adults, who give in to peer pressure, who are afraid to voice their opinion. Nor do I want them to grow up thinking that the way we interact with people younger than us is by coercion and control. Children are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. They can handle simple age appropriate explanations for things. They deserve reasons for our actions. I doubt I would be happy to do something I didn’t want to do if the only reason I was given was ‘because I said so’. I can extend the same courtesy to my children

sarah

eight wrong assumptions about born again christians

I hate when people assume certain things about born again christians without getting to know who them individually. You probably hate that too! Brett Shoemaker wrote Whenever people figure out one is a pastor at a Christian church, they tend to always assume the following:

1.Cussing around is a no-no.Really?

you feel the need to change your attitude/language around born again, but you don’t need to try and be on “good behavior” when together. Typically, some are not offended by your language and its not like they have never heard it before. would rather you just be yourself than trying to be someone else .

2.They don’t like the gays.I understand why you may have gotten this impression considering some of the ridiculous Christians out there. But, christ love them. To be honest, I don’t know why so many of my Christian brothers and sisters elevate this specifically over everything else. When it comes down to it, pastors love homosexuals just as much as I love you. wish Christians would fight as passionately against terrorism and sex trafficking as they do to homosexuality.

3.They don’t drink alcohol.Now you won’t catch me passed out on the floor drunk, but to assume that I don’t drink at all because of my faith is a bit of an overstatement. After all, the first miracle Jesus did was turn water into wine,He knows how to keep the party going.

4.THEY don’t like to have fun.This probably has a lot to do with rule #3. Because “I don’t drink” then it can be assumed that I don’t like to have fun. Quite the contrary, it just means I have learned to have fun without the need of over intoxicating myself.

5.pastors are judging you because you act differently than me.If I have come to realize one thing it is that nobody is perfect. Don’t worry about trying to hide your flaws or your differences because Iborn agains are not judging you anyways. Those who judge will be judged and I don’t want any part of that.

6.pastors are ignorant or uneducated about beliefs other than my own.Actually, it is not “my way or the highway.” Obviously, I, like the rest of Christians, spend most of my time trying to understand my own faith, but to say that pastors have shut my eyes to everything else in the world is absurd. Don’t assume they have no clue of what exists outside of Christianity.

7.Born agains think they are better than you.Somehow, because I am Christian, you assume I believe I am better than you. I understand you might get this impression from some of those who wear the Christian name tag, but humility is one of Christianity’s greatest attributes. I don’t think I am better than you regardless of who you are or what you’ve done. We are all on our own journey and everyone’s look a little bit different.

Brett Shoemaker